Cs Lewis Quotes On Love (With Video)

CS Lewis Quotes On Love – (29 November 1898 – 22 November 1963) was a British novelist, poet, academic, medievalist, literary critic, essayist, lay theologian, broadcaster, lecturer, and Christian apologist. He held academic positions at both Oxford University (Magdalen College, 1925–1954) and Cambridge University (Magdalene College, 1954–1963). He is best known for his works of fiction, especially The Screwtape Letters, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Space Trilogy, and for his non-fiction Christian apologetics, such as Mere Christianity, Miracles, and The Problem of Pain.

Lewis and fellow novelist J. R. R. Tolkien were close friends. They both served on the English faculty at Oxford University, and were active in the informal Oxford literary group known as the Inklings. According to Lewis’s memoir Surprised by Joy, he was baptised in the Church of Ireland, but fell away from his faith during adolescence. Lewis returned to Anglicanism at the age of 32, owing to the influence of Tolkien and other friends, and he became an “ordinary layman of the Church of England”. Lewis’s faith profoundly affected his work, and his wartime radio broadcasts on the subject of Christianity brought him wide acclaim.

Lewis wrote more than 30 books, which have been translated into more than 30 languages and have sold millions of copies. The books that make up The Chronicles of Narnia have sold the most and have been popularised on stage, TV, radio, and cinema. His philosophical writings are widely cited by Christian apologetics from many denominations.

In 1956, Lewis married American writer Joy Davidman; she died of cancer four years later at the age of 45. Lewis died on 22 November 1963 from renal failure, one week before his 65th birthday. In 2013, on the 50th anniversary of his death, Lewis was honoured with a memorial in Poets’ Corner in Westminster Abbey. His works entered the public domain in 2014 in countries where copyright expires 50 years after the death of the creator, such as Canada.

To remember his great works, here we present to you memorable quotes from CS Lewis about love, friendship, happiness, and faith.

Cs Lewis Quotes On Love

“To love at all is to be vulnerable”

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”

“We are mirrors whose brightness is wholly derived from the sun that shines upon us.”

“Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.

“Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness.”

“What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.”

“It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one another how beautiful they are; the delight is incomplete till it is expressed”

“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”

“Though our feelings come and go, his love for us does not.”

“Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.”

“Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you do, and you will presently come to love him.”

“Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.”

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained”

“Do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did.As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love him.”

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.”

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained”

“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives”

“Have you not seen that in our days
Of any whose story, song or art
Delights us, our sincerest praise
Means, when all’s said, ‘You break my heart?”

“Do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did.As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love him.”

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.”


CS Lewis Quotes On Friendship

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

“What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.”

“In friendship…we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another…the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting–any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends, “Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.” The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”

CS Lewis Quotes On Faith

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

“[God] will not be used as a convenience. Men or nations who think they can revive the Faith in order to make a good society might just as well think they can use the stairs of heaven as a shortcut to the nearest chemist’s shop.”

“God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.”

CS Lewis Quotes Video Illustration About Love



CS Lewis Quotes Image Illustration On Love














Other Famous CS Lewis Quotes

“Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage.”

“Joy is the serious business of heaven.”

“We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.”

“There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him.”

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”

“Each day we are becoming a creature of splendid glory or one of unthinkable horror.”

Jesus Christ did not say, “Go into all the world and tell the world that it is quite right”

“The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts.”

“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career. ”

“The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one’s life.”

“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”

“I sometimes wonder if all pleasures are not substitutes for joy.”

There are only two kinds of people: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, “All right, then, have it your way.”

“A pleasure is not full grown until it is remembered.”

“It’s so much easier to pray for a bore than to go and see one.”

“The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self–all your wishes and precautions–to Christ.”

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.”

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”

“When we Christians behave badly, or fail to behave well, we are making Christianity unbelievable to the outside world.”

“If a man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed.”

“All get what they want; they do not always like it.”

“[Reality] is not neat, not obvious, not what you expect.”

“It is safe to tell the pure in heart that they shall see God, for only the pure in heart want to.”

“All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

“Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth.”

“The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal.”

“Forgiveness does not mean excusing”

“Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.”

“This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”
Source:“The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” (1952)

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”

“Nothing you have not given away will ever really be yours.”

“We do not want merely to see beauty . . . We want something else which can hardly be put into words – to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.”

“You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.”

“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”

“Readers are advised to remember that the devil is a liar.”

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.”

“The instrument through which you see God is your whole self. And if a man’s self is not kept clean and bright, his glimpse of God will be blurred”

“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.”

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

“The door on which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last.”

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

“The Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays.”

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”

“When Christ died, he died for you individually just as much as if you had been the only person in the world.”

“In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people’s, we do not accept them easily enough.”

“If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves otherwise its like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him.”

“All these toys were never intended to possess my heart. My true good is in another world, and my only real treasure is Christ.”

“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.”

“No good work is done anywhere without aid from the Father of Lights.”

“God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain.”

“We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade, the presence of God. The world is crowded with him. He walks everywhere incognito.”

“To walk out of his will is to walk into nowhere.”

“Faith in Christ is the only thing to save you from despair.”

“Of all the bad men, religious bad men are the worst.”

“One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness.”

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”

“Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”

“If God had granted all the silly prayers I’ve made in my life, where should I be now?”

“Once in our world, a stable had something in it that was bigger than our whole world.”

“It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest lies with God.”

“Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods.”

“If you’re thinking of becoming a Christian, I warn you, you’re embarking on something, which will take the whole of you.”

“Now is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It won’t last forever. We must take it or leave it.”

“You must ask for God’s help. … After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again.”

“Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.”

“When all the suns and nebulae have passed away, each one of you will still be alive.”

“When you are arguing against God you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all.”

“We’re not doubting that God will do the best for us; we’re wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”

“God has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. You are as much alone with him as if you were the only being he had ever created.”

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”

“We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it’s there for emergencies, but he hopes he’ll never have to use it.”

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

“It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion.”

“The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it.”

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

“There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice.”

“God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want.”

“Human history is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.”

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way.”

“Christianity, if false, is of no importance and, if true, is of infinite importance. The one thing it cannot be is moderately important.”

“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.”

“If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.”

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

“The Son of God became a man to enable men to become sons of God.”

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen — not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”


Barney Fife Quotes, One of 50 Greatest TV Characters of All Time list

Barney Fife Quotes – is a fictional character in the American television program The Andy Griffith Show, portrayed by comic actor Don Knotts. Barney Fife is a deputy sheriff in the slow paced, sleepy southern community of Mayberry, North Carolina. He appeared in the first five seasons (1960–65) as a main character, and, after leaving the show at the end of season five, made a few guest appearances in the following three color seasons (1965–68). He also appeared in the first episode of the spin-off series Mayberry R.F.D. (1968–1971), and in the 1986 reunion telemovie Return to Mayberry. Additionally, Barney appeared in the Joey Bishop Show episode, “Joey’s Hideaway Cabin” and the first episode of The New Andy Griffith Show.

In 1999, TV Guide ranked him Ninth on its 50 Greatest TV Characters of All Time list.

Barney Fife Quotes

“The Andy Griffith Show: Convicts-at-Large (#3.11)” (1962)
Deputy Barney Fife: [Floyd and he have run out of gas, and in walking about looking for some have arrived at a mountain cabin belonging to wealthy Mr. O’Malley. Barney decides to shout to see if anyone’s home] O’Malley! Charlie! It’s me, Barney Fife!
Floyd Lawson: [Aghast] You shouldn’t call a rich man by his first name!
Deputy Barney Fife: [to Floyd] The Bigger they are, the nicer they are.
Deputy Barney Fife: Hey, Chuck!


Deputy Barney Fife: [as seductive as a nervous little guy can be] Let’s you and me dance.
Big Maude Tyler: [Suprised – Barney had refused her before] You kiddin’?
Deputy Barney Fife: No, I’m not.
Big Maude Tyler: What made you change your mind?
Deputy Barney Fife: [REALLY trying to be seductive now] You’re beginnin’ to get to me.


Floyd Lawson: How come you’re putting on your uniform?
Deputy Barney Fife: In case we decide to hitchhike.
Floyd Lawson: Oh.
Deputy Barney Fife: In civies I’m a little hard looking.


Big Maude Tyler: By rights, I ought to let Naomi curl your hair with this heater.
Jalene Naomi Connors: [excited] Can I, Maude? Can I? I hate men!
Big Maude Tyler: She’s a convicted husband-beater.
Floyd Lawson: [worried] Better watch it, Al.
Deputy Barney Fife: Will you stop callin’ me Al?


Convict Sally: [Has mistaken Barney for her old beau Al, because there is a striking resemblance] How I loved that man!
Big Maude Tyler: I thought Al squealed and sent you up.
Convict Sally: [grabs Barney by the hair] RAT!
Deputy Barney Fife: I’m not Al!


Deputy Barney Fife: [Maude told him to lie to Andy] Supposing I refuse?
[Maude points the gun at point-blank range at where he and Floyd are sitting. Naomi and Sally hover over the couch, fists at the ready]
Floyd Lawson: Better phone him, Al!


Big Maude Tyler: [after she’s arrested] Rat! You dirty Rat! You RAT!
Deputy Barney Fife: You just settle down, sister!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Cyrano Andy (#1.22)” (1961)
Barney Fife: You’re that cats. I-I-I think about cha all the time. Sometimes at breakfast I… stare down at m’ eggs and… I see your face right in there.


Andy Taylor: Barney, I declare, I just don’t understand you. You said ’em all fine right there. Now, how come you can’t say the same thing to Thelma Lou?
Barney Fife: Well, I guess the trouble is I can… I can only say ’em to a face like yours, you character.


Barney Fife: How would you like it if I tried to steal Ellie away from YOU?
Andy Taylor: Well, um…
Barney Fife: Oh, you don’t think I can, do you?
Andy Taylor: Well, that’s not the point.
Barney Fife: POINT! Well, I CAN! And the funny part is you’re the one that showed me how. All I gotta do is sweet-talk her – and I’ve seen just enough Rock Hudson pictures to know how to do that.


Barney Fife: Oh, this is the oldest game in the world – stealin’ your best friend’s girl. Well, four can play at THIS game, buddy.


Barney Fife: If it smells, I want it.


Ellie Walker: Okay, Barney, what’ll it be.
Barney Fife: Does it have to… BE anything?
Ellie Walker: Well, no. No, you can sit down if you like. I just have this prescription to finish.
Barney Fife: You know the light in here does crazy things to your hair.
Ellie Walker: What?
Barney Fife: Oh, why pretend? I LIKE you, Ellie. You’re my kind o’ woman.
Ellie Walker: What?
Barney Fife: Let’s not try to fight it… baby.
Ellie Walker: Barney Fife, have you been drinking?
Barney Fife: Oh, baby…
Ellie Walker: [slaps his hand] Oh, now stop. I haven’t time for this nonsense. Now-now, stop acting like a juvenile.
Barney Fife: I feel sorry for you, baby. You-you had your chance to fly with me but you wasn’t woman enough. Now the balloon’s gone up without cha.


Barney Fife: Well, some of us got it, some of us ain’t.

“The Andy Griffith Show: A Plaque for Mayberry (#1.25)” (1961)
Andy Taylor: Well, Barney, I believe a sobriety test is given to a prisoner when you first bring him in. Now, you ought to have done that to Otis last night.
Barney Fife: Aw, Andy, you know we couldn’t have given a sobriety test to Otis last night.
Andy Taylor: Well, why not?
Barney Fife: He was too drunk.


Barney Fife: Now, I’m gonna test your reactions and your reflexes.
Otis Campbell: This jail’s gettin’ to be as bad as home.


Barney Fife: Now, this is a chart of Nathan Tibb’s family tree.
Andy Taylor: Where’d you get this?
Barney Fife: Over at the library.
Andy Taylor: You mean, this whole thing was in the library?
Barney Fife: Well, not the whole thing. Just the start of it. The rest I deduced.
Andy Taylor: Oh, you deduced?
Barney Fife: Yeah. It deduces right out to me. Me, Barney Fife. I almost started to cry right in the library.


Barney Fife: I can just see Otis showin’ up for that plaque now.
Barney Fife: [acting drunk] “Where’s m’ plaque? Gimme m’ plaque,” then he’ll stagger up to that Mrs. Wicks and he’ll say “How about a little drink, baby?”


Barney Fife: We’re gettin’ the real thing – Otis Campbell himself.
Mayor Pike: What?
Barney Fife: The hundred percent Otis Campbell – or should I say “hundred proof?”


Mayor Pike: I specifically asked you to get us a substitute for him, but you didn’t! You got HIM.
Andy Taylor: You did, and I didn’t, but I did.
Mayor Pike: How could you do it?
Barney Fife: Well, he did.
Mayor Pike: You didn’t.
Andy Taylor: I did.
Mayor Pike: How?
Andy Taylor: I just did.


Barney Fife: You s’pose we ought to put a plaque in that cell there – “Otis Campbell slept here?”
Andy Taylor: “Slept it off here”‘d be more like it.
“The Simpsons: Days of Wine and D’oh’ses (#11.18)” (2000)
Barney Gumble: Moe, I’ve come here to make amends for my disgraceful behaviour over the last twenty years.
Moe: No, that’s okay, Barn.
Barney Gumble: No it’s not okay. I broke barstools, befouled your broom closet, and made sweet love to your pool table, which I then befouled.
Moe: Well, that would explain the drop-off in play.


Barney: What do you mean I forgot my birthday? How could I forget…
[chugs a beer glass]
Barney: – my own birthday?


[Barney and Homer are in a helicopter, when they land in the middle of a bridge and stop a beer truck. A six pack falls out]
Barney: Beer! That’s what I need!
Barney: Barney, no! Don’t!
Barney: Yes! I need it.
Homer, Barney: [Barney opens the beer can and starts to drink, but Homer grabs his arm]
Homer: No! You’ve gotta be sober for this. Give me that.
Homer: [starts chugging the beer] Ew, it’s warm.
Barney: You can’t drink ’em all.
Homer: Oh, yes, I can.
[Homer wrestles Barney for the rest of the six-pack and chugs it]
Homer: I won’t let you give up now, when you worked so hard…
Homer: …to be the greatest pal in the world. I love you. Let’s not lose touch after graduation.
[passes out]
Barney: You brave man. You took six silver bullets for me.
Homer: Stay away from my wife!


Barney: So, I say, when we die there should be two planets- one for the French and one for the Chinese.


Barney Gumble: I’m just saying that when we die there’s gonna be a planet for the french, a planet for the chinese, and we’ll all be a lot happier.
Lisa: Mr. Gumble, you’re upsetting me.
Barney Gumble: No, I’m not.


Barney Gumble: Moe, I’ve come here to make amends for my disgraceful behavior over the last twenty years.
Moe: Oh, that’s okay, Barn.
Barney Gumble: No, it’s not okay. I broke barstools, befouled your broom closet and made sweet love to your pool table, which I then befouled.
Moe: Well, that would explain the drop-off in play.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Quiet Sam (#1.29)” (1961)
Floyd Lawson: He cuts his own hair.
Barney Fife: He tell you that?
Floyd Lawson: Didn’t have to. I can spot an amateur head a mile off.


Barney Fife: Don’t look at him. He’ll know we’re talkin’ him.
Barney Fife: What’s he doin’ now?
Floyd Lawson: I don’t know. You told me not to look at him.


Barney Fife: Well, for my money, he’s got all the facial characteristics of a criminal. You know, the… the narrow chin, and the eyes close together, and… slack jaw with a prominent overbite.
Andy Taylor: You know who that sounds like?
Barney Fife: Who?
Andy Taylor: You.


Barney Fife: Boy, you wouldn’t notice a muddy elephant in the snow, would ya?
Andy Taylor: You tryin’ to tell me Sam Becker’s got a dirty elephant to his place?


Barney Fife: Yeah, Sam, I did my part in helpin’ to whip the dreaded hun.


Barney Fife: You sure didn’t freeze up on THIS little grasshopper.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Merchant of Mayberry (#2.22)” (1962)
Barney Fife: [angry] Oh, boy, you’re just full of fun today, aren’t ya? Why don’t we go up to the old people’s home and wax the steps?


Barney Fife: How are ya?
Bert Miller: Middlin’.


Andy Taylor: Whadda ya… whadda ya sellin’ these days, Bert? Anything?
Bert Miller: Oh, this and that.
Andy Taylor: Well, like what.
Bert Miller: Oh, first one thing, then another.
Andy Taylor: Well, what’s in the suitcase?
Bert Miller: Different things.
Barney Fife: For Pete’s sake, Bert. Open it up. We might buy somethin’ off of ya.
Bert Miller: Oh, you probably don’t need nothin’ no way, and I don’t wanna appear pushy.
Andy Taylor: [chuckles] Oh, nobody’ll ever accuse you of that, Bert. Now-now, what’s in the suitcase? Show us.


Aunt Bee Taylor: [to Bert] What have you got in your suitcase?
Andy Taylor: [imitating Bert’s style] Oh, he’s got, first, one thing, then another in there, Aunt Bee.
Barney Fife: [joining in] What about different things?
Andy Taylor: I forgot different things, and a whole lot of this ‘n’ that.
Barney Fife: Oh, I don’t know. I think Aunt Bee’d like one thing and another.
Andy Taylor: Hard to tell – either that or different things.
Barney Fife: Yeah.
Aunt Bee Taylor: What’re you talking about?
Andy Taylor: Now look here, Aunt Bee, it’s either gonna be socks, razor blades, or first one thing and then another. Now, we ain’t got time to stand around here while you make up your mind. We’re busy.


Barney Fife: Why don’t you go set in the grocery store so we can all know you’re the big cheese?


Barney Fife: I’ll tell you one thing, you’re gettin’ the best salesman in Mayberry.
Ben Weaver: Uh-uh. Second best.
Barney Fife: Huh? Well, who’s the best?
Ben Weaver: You oughta know. You’re workin’ for ‘im.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy and Barney in the Big City (#2.25)” (1962)
[Barney picks up Andy’s suitcase]
Andy Taylor: Uh, careful. There’s a bottle in there.
Barney Fife: You thought of everything, didn’t ya?


Aunt Bee Taylor: Oh, no, wait a moment! We almost forgot!
[exits to the kitchen]
Barney Fife: What’d she forget?
Andy Taylor: Well, I’ll bet you a quarter she forgot a brown paper sack full of sandwiches. I never been on a trip in my life I didn’t have to carry a brown paper sack full of sandwiches.


Hotel Clerk: [presenting room keys] Here you are, Mr. Taylor, and Mr. Fife. Excuse me – “Doctor” Fife.
Andy Taylor: “Doctor” Fife?
Hotel Clerk: [reading registration card] “Bernard Fife, M.D.”
Andy Taylor: M.D.?
Barney Fife: That’s the way I always sign. Bernard Fife, M.D.
Barney Fife: [pressured under Andy’s gaze] Mayberry Deputy.


Andy Taylor: Now, Barn, outside of that meetin’ we got with the commissioner, we’re-we’re really off duty, you know?
Barney Fife: Off duty? Huh. Now, when is a lawman REALLY off duty?


[Andy signals the maître d’ to interpret the French menu]
Barney Fife: Don’t do that, Andy. You’ll embarrass me. He’ll think you’re just a plain hick.
Andy Taylor: Well, Barney, there’s worse things than bein’ a plain hick, like bein’ a hungry one.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Crime-Free Mayberry (#2.7)” (1961)
Barney Fife: [Barney, writing a song to the tune of Clementine, doesn’t know Andy is standing behind him] In a jailhouse down in Dixie / Fightin’ crime and riskin’ life / Dwelled a sheriff and his buddy / Pistol-packing Barny Fife. / Oh my darin’, oh my darin’ / Oh my darin’ Barney Fife / He’s a deadly crime stopper / What a copper, Barney Fife. / Then one day there came a ridin’/ Two bad men to rob a bank / But Fife was tricky, a deadeye dickie/ Now they’re locked up in the tank…
Andy Taylor: Oh my Barney, oh my Barney / Had a jail and couldn’t lock it / Had one bullet for his pistol / Had to keep it in his pocket.


Fred Jenkins: Now, the chief has sent me down here to observe firsthand just how you achieved this wonderful record.
Andy Taylor: Well, first-off, I think the credit ought to go where it rightfully belongs.
Barney Fife: Oh, now, Andy, you had just as much to do with it as I did.


Barney Fife: Yeah, I guess that’s the word that describes us best – modest. As you can see, we don’t go in for fancy technical equipment here. We’re just plain, simple men fightin’ organized crime with raw courage. Strong, determined, rugged, fearless…
Fred Jenkins: And modest.
Barney Fife: I think that’s the word that describes us best, yes.


Barney Fife: They’re written a folksong about us!
Andy Taylor: [reading the town paper] “The Ballad of Andy and Barney or the Gangsters’ Mistake.” If that ain’t the most ridiculous thing I ever…
Barney Fife: Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute, now. It’s not too bad. Try it from the top. The tune is like “Frankie and Johnny.”
Andy Taylor: What foolishness will they think of next?
Barney Fife: Go ahead.
Andy Taylor: Mm. “Andy and Barney were lawmen / Bravest you ever did see / Warned every crook in the record book / To stay out of Mayber-ry / They were the law.”
Barney Fife: [joining in] “Yes, they were the law.”
Barney Fife, Andy Taylor: “… And they didn’t know fear.”
Andy Taylor: Throw that thing in the trash.
Barney Fife: Now, wait a minute, Andy. It gets better in the second verse. Listen to this: “Pretty Boy Floyd com a-ridin’ / Dillinger, too, big as life / They weren’t alone – there was Al Capone / And in back of Mack the Knife / They broke the law…”
Andy Taylor: Barney, Barney, Barney, Barney, Barney, hold it!
Barney Fife: What’s the matter?
Andy Taylor: Whoever wrote that did it for a joke.
Barney Fife: I did not!


Barney Fife: We defy the Mafia!

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Jinx (#2.17)” (1962)
Barney Fife: Thought I’d heard everything, but I didn’t hear everything, but I sure am hearin’ it now!


Barney Fife: [chanting for good luck] Come, fish, come. Come, fish, come. Sam’s at the gate with a frosted cake. Come, fish, come.


Barney Fife: [chanting for good luck] Fly away, buzzard. Fly away, crow. Way down south where the winds don’t blow. Rub your nose and give two winks and save us from this awful jinx.


Barney Fife: Boy, you insist on flyin’ right in the face of scientific fact, don’t ya?
Andy Taylor: Scientific facts?
Barney Fife: There are atmospheric rays which control bodily motions. Now, if a person containing negative or hexin’ qualities gets between you and them rays, why, he creates a static that jars any successful motion into an unsuccessful motion and jinxes ya – and THAT is a scientific fact!
Andy Taylor: And that is also the biggest crock of nothin’ I ever heard!
Barney Fife: It’s guys like you that laughed at Edison, the Wright Brothers, Buzz Fluheart.
Andy Taylor: Buzz Fluheart?
Barney Fife: The man that discovered the scientific fact I was just tellin’ ya!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Barney’s Replacement (#2.2)” (1961)
Barney Fife: A wink’s as good as a nod to a blind mule.


Barney Fife: I ain’t got time to stand around here and discuss trivial trivialities.


Emma Brand: NOT a deputy?
Barney Fife: No!
Emma Brand: Well! If you’re not a deputy, you certainly had a lot of nerve arresting me for jaywalking!


Barney Fife: And you better gird your loins, buster. You got a fight on your hands.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Perfect Female (#2.8)” (1961)
[Barney’s smooth ploy to get Andy over to the coffee shop has so far not worked]
Barney Fife: [anxiously] Andy, let’s go over to the coffee shop and have a cup of coffee.
Andy Taylor: Well, why?
Andy Taylor: What?
Andy Taylor: Oh. Okay.
[Andy starts to head out]
Andy Taylor: Over to the coffee shop to meet Thelma Lou’s cousin from Arkansas. You comin’?


Barney Fife: Aw, come on, Andy. Boy, you’re funny, you are. You ought to go on a radio and be an all-night disc jockey. At least then I could turn you off.


Barney Fife: Losin’ to a woman. Jiminy. It’s the end of an era.


Karen Moore: But, do you know something, Andy? I don’t think I really and truly know all there is to know about you. Let’s see, now – you do like music.
Andy Taylor: Well, I…
Karen Moore: Well, do you like opera, modern, classical?
Andy Taylor: I can’t… I couldn’t…
Karen Moore: And books. Do you like fiction of non-fiction. Who’s your favorite American author?
Andy Taylor: I, uh…
Karen Moore: Oh, and please just tell me one thing: do you think you could ever make a livin’ at anything besides sheriffin’? I… I hope you don’t mind my askin’ you all these questions, but you see these are things I really and truly have to know so I can evaluate you properly. You know, “pass muster.”
Barney Fife: Now just a minute! What are you tryin’ to do here?
Karen Moore: Well, it’s all very simple. When Mr. Taylor gave me the thrill and honor of okaying me as worthy of his attentions, I thought it would be awfully nice if I could award him the same thrill. I’ll tell you, Mr. Taylor, I’ll consider all of your qualities and I’ll let you know if you made the grade.

“The Andy Griffith Show: My Fair Ernest T. Bass (#4.17)” (1964)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I’m sorry to hear that, Ernest T. I know how important it is to ya to get a girl.
Ernest T. Bass: I’ve tried courtin’ Hog Winslow’s daughter; Hogette.
Deputy Barney Fife: Pretty name.
Ernest T. Bass: Hogette is French. French name.
Ernest T. Bass: Well, I courted her as proper as proper can be. First off I wrote her a love note asking her to go on out with me. And then I tied it on to the prettiest rock ya ever did see. And then I give it the prettiest toss ya ever did see… right through the front window!
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, did Hogette come on out with ya?
Ernest T. Bass: Couldn’t. Caught her right there.
[points to a spot above his left ear]
Ernest T. Bass: Seven stitches.


Deputy Barney Fife: You lay people have got to learn to leave evidence alone. It’s going to make it very difficult now for us and the boys at the lab.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: What Lab?


Deputy Barney Fife: You sure got slim pickins here. Dogs, nothin but dogs.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Barney!
Deputy Barney Fife: Andy, if you flew a quail through this room, every woman in it would point.


Sheriff Andy Taylor: She think’s he’s from Boston.
Deputy Barney Fife: Boston?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Yeah.
Deputy Barney Fife: Andy, you did that good a job or Mrs. Wiley’s a nut.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy the Matchmaker (#1.7)” (1960)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now, you can’t be serious about resignin’. What in the world will you do?
Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, I-I don’t know. I could go up to the pickle factory. They always need a brine tester.


Deputy Barney Fife: [reading] “There once was a deputy called Fife, who carried a gun and a knife. The gun was all dusty, the knife was all rusty, ’cause he never caught a crook in his life.”


Deputy Barney Fife: [about the limerick] It makes out like I-I-I never wanted to catch crooks – and that just ain’t so. I’d catch ’em in a minute, but how’m I gonna catch ’em if there ain’t any, for heaven’s sake? If only somebody would just commit a crime – one good crime! If only somebody’d just… kill somebody.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: [shocked] Barney!
Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, I don’t mean anybody we know.


Sheriff Andy Taylor: Uh, Opie, Barney says there was a poem written on the wall of the bank and that you was standin’ along beside of it with a piece of chalk in your hand.
Opie Taylor: Yeah, but I didn’t do it, pa. Honest.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: I believe you.
Deputy Barney Fife: [angrily] Are you pittin’ your crime detectin’ judgement against mine?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, Barney, I have to, because, for one thing, Opie wouldn’t lie to me.
Deputy Barney Fife: You call that evidence?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: And for another, he ain’t learned how to write yet.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Lucky Letter (#5.19)” (1965)
Deputy Barney Fife: You work with a person long enough you get as goofy as he is!


Deputy Barney Fife: I am not superstitious and who says I believe in chain letters; I just don’t mess around with them that’s all.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Superstition!
Deputy Barney Fife: Now here’s where we come to a matter of terms; you call it superstition, I call it caution!


Sheriff Andy Taylor: Hey, Barn, does the number 13 bother you?
Deputy Barney Fife: I’m not crazy about it but it don’t bother me.


Sheriff Andy Taylor: What are you gonna do tonight?
Deputy Barney Fife: Nothing! Sit around in my room; not much can happen to me there.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy Saves Barney’s Morale (#1.20)” (1961)
Barney Fife: Well, he did willfully with malice aforethought throw a checkerboard full of checkers. Could’ve blinded somebody.
Andy Taylor: Well, now, seein’ as how that’s been going on between Chester and Old Jud here for around twenty years, that’s more a part OF the peace than it is disturbin’ the peace. Case dismissed, Jud. You can go on home.
Jud Fletcher: Thank ya, Andy. And thank you too, Barney.
Barney Fife: What for?
Jud Fletcher: Well, considering the kind of crime I done, for not tryin’ to get me hung.


Chester Jones: Barney! Barney, quick, you got to catch him!
Barney Fife: Who?
Chester Jones: The fella what just hit and run!
Barney Fife: Hit and run? Where?
Chester Jones: Out to the baseball field.


Barney Fife: Suck in that gut!


Andy Taylor: I tell you the truth, I’m surprised you didn’t get to me, too.
Barney Fife: Uh, well, if you want to get technical about it…
Andy Taylor: Huh?
Barney Fife: Well, you could be reprimanded for being out of uniform. I mean, no tie and collar open, pants unpressed, not wearin’ a revolver and gun belt, sleeves rolled up, your shoes…
[Andy holds up a hand for silence then marches himself off to his own jail cell]

“The Andy Griffith Show: A Medal for Opie (#2.19)” (1962)
[Barney talks about training Opie]
Opie Taylor: You mean you’re gonna make me one big muscle, too?
Barney Fife: Yeah.
Andy Taylor: Uh, ‘cept in your case, we’ll try to stop at the neck.
Barney Fife: [irritated] That’s very comical, Andy, only comicalness don’t win no medals.


Barney Fife: [chanting while skipping rope] My mother, your mother, lived across the way. Every night they have a fight and this is what they say: Ickabacka-soda cracker, ickabacka-foo. Ickabacka-sode cracker, out goes you.


Barney Fife: Now, boys, as Sheriff Taylor has said, I will be the official starter, and this is the official starting gun. Now, you may not run until the gun is fired. Now, when I pull the trigger, the gun will fire, and then you may run, but wait until the gun is fired. I will pull the trigger and you will then hear a shot. That means…
[Andy cuts him off so they can start the race]


Barney Fife: Where you goin’?
Opie Taylor: I’m leavin’. You’re a sight.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Manhunt (#1.2)” (1960)
Deputy Barney Fife: You’ll never guess what’s happened. Something big.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, what is it?
Deputy Barney Fife: Biggest thing ever happened in Mayberry. REAL big. Big. BIG big.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now-now just simmer down, Barney. What is it?
Deputy Barney Fife: Well, I’m tryin’ to tell ya.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, so far, all I know is it’s something big.
Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, “big” ain’t the word for it.


Deputy Barney Fife: Andy, you can’t let Otis go.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I have to. His sentence is up.
Deputy Barney Fife: But he’s the only prisoner we’ve got.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well?
Deputy Barney Fife: Well, what are the state police gonna think when they get here and find we got an empty jail? They gonna think this is just a hick town where nothin’ ever happens.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, you got to admit that-that’s about the size of it.


Deputy Barney Fife: He got the drop on me.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: You mean he had a gun?
Deputy Barney Fife: Ugh… well… he has NOW.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Mountain Wedding (#3.31)” (1963)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: If you ask me, this Ernest T. Bass is a strange and weird character.
Briscoe Darling: Just plain ornery’s what he is.
Deputy Barney Fife: I think he’s a nut.


Deputy Barney Fife: [to Ernest T. Bass] I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth!


Deputy Barney Fife: [the Darlings all are snoring heavily and keeping him awake] Andy?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Hm?
Deputy Barney Fife: Are you asleep?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: You kidding?

“The Andy Griffith Show: Aunt Bee the Warden (#2.23)” (1962)
Barney Fife: Great work, chief. Who are they? What’d you get ’em on? 502? 626? 308? Want me to send out an “APB”?
Andy Taylor: “All Points Bulletin”, Barney? They’re already here. They’re captured.


Barney Fife: Sure is good to be doin’ a capacity business, huh, Sheriff? Both these babies filled up.
Andy Taylor: Well, I’ll tell you the truth, I’d as soon see them cells empty, that way we now law and order’s bein’ observed.


Barney Fife: Now I have here a woodcarving set, a leather craft set, a metal craft set, and a Mr. Potato set. Now, who wants what? Now, it makes no difference to me which one you take. Well, come on, come on. Speak up. Which one do you want?
Junior Gordon: I’ll take the Mr. Potato set.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy’s Rich Girlfriend (#3.2)” (1962)
Barney Fife: It won’t work.
Andy Taylor: What won’t work?
Barney Fife: You and Peg. That’s what won’t work. Andy, I hate to have to tell you this but you’re gonna have to give her up. Forget about her. Nip it. Nip it in the bud.
Andy Taylor: What’re you talkin’ about?
Barney Fife: You want me to spell it out for ya, huh? All right, I will. Andy, she is one of the rich, and they are different.
Andy Taylor: Oh, come on.
Barney Fife: No, no, no. They are. They’re different. From the minute they’re born with that silver spoon in their hands…
Andy Taylor: Mouth.
Barney Fife: Right… life is different.


Barney Fife: Ya ever see a rich kid’s bicycle?
Andy Taylor: No.
Barney Fife: Solid chronium with at least six or seven red reflectors.
Andy Taylor: I’ll be dogged.
Barney Fife: Then after the bicycle age, they go off to what they call a refinishin’ school.
Andy Taylor: A finishin’ school.
Barney Fife: Right. While they’re there, they play with the same kind of kids.
Andy Taylor: Lot of reflectors.
Barney Fife: Right.


Barney Fife: That poor, blind fool. He don’t know it but he’s headed right for heartbreak alley.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Cow Thief (#3.5)” (1962)
William Upchurch: Sheriff tells me you decided not to make a moulage.
Barney Fife: [obviously unfamiliar with the word] A moulage? Y-y… yeah, that’s right. We decided not to make a moulage, he-he. Oh, we told a few people, but we decided it didn’t make sense upsettin’ folks runnin’ around blabbin’, makin’ a big moulage out of it.
Andy Taylor: Uh, Barney, he means a plaster cast of the prints.
Barney Fife: Th-THAT kind of moulage.


Barney Fife: [trying to sound experienced while mixing ingredients] I think that can use a touch more plaster. I always like to make my moulages just a bit on the solid side.
Andy Taylor: [not buying it] I like to use a little egg white in mine. Makes ’em moister and fluffier.


Barney Fife: I was almost out to the car and… Well, I got to rememberin’ another time, a few years back, when another mayor of our town accused you of havin’ a harebrained idea. Remember that? That was when you had the idea of making me your deputy.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy the Marriage Counselor (#1.18)” (1961)
[Andy and Barney have just been called to calm the Boones]
Barney Fife: Now, Jennie, put that cup down! Put it down RIGHT NOW!


Barney Fife: I see what you did wrong now.
Andy Taylor: Huh?
Barney Fife: You was holdin’ the knife in the wrong hand.
Andy Taylor: Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more considerate next time I attack you.


Barney Fife: Throw the book at ’em.
Andy Taylor: Wouldn’t do any good. Jennie’d just pick it up and throw it back at Fred.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Barney and the Choir (#2.20)” (1962)
Barney Fife: Yeah, it’s tough all right. As my old voice teacher used to say, “A choir without its tenor is like a star without its glimmer.” You know who used to say that? My old voice teacher. That’s the teacher I had when I studied voice.


Barney Fife: See, you’ve got a uvula, they’ve got a uvula, I got a uvula, all God’s children got a uvula!
Andy Taylor: Hallelujah.


Andy Taylor: Hold it! Barney, you’re supposed to be talking.
Barney Fife: Oh, it’s no use, Andy. Can you tell a bird to talk? Can you tell a bird to just go chirp, chirp, chirp? No, Andy, I’m like a bird. I was born to sing.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Return of Malcolm Merriweather (#4.28)” (1964)
Barney Fife: There’s nothing worse than a wino on a crying jag.


Barney Fife: [Barney sees that Malcolm is obviously drunk] Andy… He’s gassed!

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Pickle Story (#2.11)” (1961)
Barney Fife: I don’t know how I can face the future when I know there’s eight quarts of these pickles in it.


Barney Fife: You mean you actually WANT her to make another batch of them kerosene cucumbers?

“The Andy Griffith Show: Mayberry on Record (#1.19)” (1961)
Barney Fife: Come on, everybody, let’s all take a bite out of Barney Fife!


Andy Taylor: Now, they’re all legitimate government deductions. Besides, you know what they say, “Can’t take it with you.”
Barney Fife: Take it WITH me? They keep nibblin’ at me like this, I’ll be lucky if I get to go myself.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Sermon for Today (#4.4)” (1963)
Barney Fife: Yeah, we really packed it away.
Andy Taylor: Yeah, boy.
Barney Fife: Fortunately, none of mine goes to fat. All goes to muscle.
Andy Taylor: Mmm.
Barney Fife: It’s a mark of us Fifes. Everything we eat goes to muscle.
[pats stomach]
Barney Fife: See there?


Aunt Bee Taylor: Oh, Dr. Breen, your sermon has such a wonderful lesson for us.
Andy Taylor: Yes, sir, you really hit the nail right on the head there.
Barney Fife: Yes, sir, that’s one subject you just can’t talk enough about… SIN.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Mr. McBeevee (#3.1)” (1962)
Opie Taylor: I told Mr. McBeevee I’d be right back.
Andy Taylor: Who?
Opie Taylor: Mr. McBeevee. You don’t know him. He’s new around here. I just met him this mornin’.
Andy Taylor: Oh.
Barney Fife: Oh, a newcomer in town, eh? Where’s he live at?
Opie Taylor: I met him in the woods.
Barney Fife: What’s he doin’ in the woods?
Opie Taylor: Well, mostly he walks around up in the treetops.
Barney Fife: He walks in the tree…
Barney Fife: [getting wise] Mm-hm. I supposed he’s invisible, too.
Opie Taylor: No. Mr. McBeevee’s easy to see, especially his hat. He wears a great, big, shiny silver hat.


Opie Taylor: [in describing Mr. McBeevee] The only thing is, when he walks he sort of jingles.
Barney Fife: He jingles?
Opie Taylor: Just like he had rings on his fingers and bells on his toes.
Barney Fife: [clearing throat] Well, course, uh, he don’t REALLY have rings on his fingers and bells on his toes, now does he, Ope?
Opie Taylor: No. Just sounds that way.
Barney Fife: [relieved] That’s right.
Opie Taylor: The jinglin’ is really from all the things hangin’ on his belt.
Barney Fife: What things?
Opie Taylor: His hands. His twelve extra hands.
Barney Fife: He has twelve… extra hands and they… jingle.
Opie Taylor: And he can make smoke come out of his ears.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Shoplifters (#4.21)” (1964)
Deputy Barney Fife: Well, play the game! Play the game! I hate it when you get obtuse!


Sheriff Andy Taylor: He’s one of our most respected citizens, one of our best church-goin’ members. He knows every hymn in the book.
Deputy Barney Fife: Aw, that’s just a front! You watch him sometime when we’re singin’ “Leaning On The Everlasting Arms.” He don’t even know the words! He just moves his lips!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Up in Barney’s Room (#4.10)” (1963)
Barney Fife: Who ever heard of a room you couldn’t cook in? Six dollars a week, and what do I get? Heartaches, nothin’ but heartaches!


Barney Fife: I don’t like it, I just don’t like it!
Andy Taylor: Don’t like what?
Barney Fife: Her marrying that stranger.
Andy Taylor: He’s no stranger to her…
Barney Fife: [Barney looking frustrated and angry] All right, let em get married… I just hope it ends in a quickie Mexican divorce
Andy Taylor: BARNEY!

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Guitar Player (#1.3)” (1960)
[Shortly after Sheriff Taylor arrests Jim Lindsey, they jam together on guitars in the jailhouse]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: [singing solo as they play] Ridin’ on that new river train. Ridin’ on that new river train. Same old train that brought me here gonna take me back again.
[Andy and Jim play through an instrumental passage]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Darlin’, you can’t love one. Darlin’, you can’t love one. Can’t love one and have any fun. Oh, darlin’, you can’t love one.
[Deputy Barney Fife enters the jailhouse during a second instrumental passage]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Sing, Barney.
Sheriff Andy Taylor, Deputy Barney Fife: [together, as Jim and Andy continue to play] Ridin’ on that new river train. Ridin on that new river train. Same old train that brought me here gonna take me home again.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: One more.
Sheriff Andy Taylor, Deputy Barney Fife: [Andy and Barney sing together as song concludes with Andy and Jim on their guitars] Ridin’ on that new river train. Ridin’ on that new river train. Same old train that brought me here gonna take me back again.


Sheriff Andy Taylor: [Bobby Fleet and his band members, arrested off screen, now stand at Andy’s desk] Guilty as charged. That’ll be twenty dollars or 24 hours in jail.
Bobby Fleet: [quickly spoken, in frustration] Twenty fish for a crummy parking rap?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, we try to keep it low for the first offense.
Bobby Fleet: Yeah, and how much of the twenty do you stick in your own kick?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Ohh, I wished you hadn’t a said that. I mean, I don’t mind an insult personally but, why, you’ve offended the dignity of my robes. Now, let’s see… what is our price for robe dignity offendin’? Why, that’s $50.
Bobby Fleet: [quickly spoken, in frustration] $50?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Yeah, plus the twenty, that’s seventy altogether.
Bobby Fleet: Aw, come on now! Now, look Sheriff, there’s no reason to get hot under the collar over this. I mean, uh, you’ve got your job to do, and I’ve got mine. Now, uhh… Oh, that reminds me. We’re gonna be playin’ at the capitol over the weekend. Now, how would you and your fine deputy here like to come and see us, huh? I’ll see that you have a big time. Oh, you’ll be my guests, of course.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Ohhh. Now, you have REALLY done it.
Bobby Fleet: [spoken very quickly, in exasperation] What, what, what, what, what?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, you just tried to bribe me is all. That’s the worst thing anybody can do. I hate to tell you what the fine is on that.
Bobby Fleet: Never mind. I don’t care what the fine is. I’m not gonna pay it.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Oh, you mean you’ll take the 24 hours?
Bobby Fleet: That’s just what I mean. No hick Sheriff is gonna bleed me. We’ll all stay overnight.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, that’s the way it’ll be then.
[Andy bangs his gavel, closing the case]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Deputy, lock up the prisoners.
Deputy Barney Fife: Glad to! All right, let’s move it along! Come on, on the double there! Come on, let’s look sharp! Look sharp! Come on, get in there. And suck in that gut!

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Horse Trader (#1.14)” (1961)
Andy Taylor: You wanna buy this cannon?
Barney Fife: No!
Andy Taylor: Well, stop makin’ faces!


Andy Taylor: You wanna buy this cannon?
Barney Fife: No!
Andy Taylor: Well, shut up!

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Case of the Punch in the Nose (#5.25)” (1965)
Charles Foley: [Recounting the incident of 20 years ago] One word led to another, and he punched me, right in the nose!
Deputy Barney Fife: What’s so funny?
Charles Foley: Can you imagine Floyd punching anybody? It was more like a *boop*!


Deputy Barney Fife: Neatness counts. Make order the order of the day.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Barney on the Rebound (#2.5)” (1961)
Andy Taylor: Thelma Lou got a mad on at you, has she?
Barney Fife: Andy, what is it with women. They got some kind of a rule they can’t be happy unless they’re causin’ trouble?


Gladys ‘Melissa’ Stevens: [cuddling up against Barney] Wouldn’t you like to stay like this forever?
Barney Fife: [uncomfortably] Well…
Gladys ‘Melissa’ Stevens: Well, wouldn’t you?
Barney Fife: Yeah, I guess.
Gladys ‘Melissa’ Stevens: Barney, do you mean it? Daddy! Daddy, come quick! Wait’ll ya hear!
Barney Fife: What? What? Hear what?
George Stevens: What is it? What is it? What happened?
Gladys ‘Melissa’ Stevens: Daddy, guess what? Barney has just proposed to me.
George Stevens: He did?
Gladys ‘Melissa’ Stevens: He did.
Barney Fife: I did?

“The Andy Griffith Show: High Noon in Mayberry (#3.17)” (1963)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: [Andy and Barney are discussing the “threatening” letter from the recently released ex-con whom Andy shot in the leg during a filling station hold up when the phone rings] Hello, sheriff’s office… Oh, yes Ms. Peterson, aww… Well I’ll take care of it right away… Yes, Ma’am. Bye.
[Hangs up the phone]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Ms. Peterson ‘s Fluffy’s on the roof again.
Deputy Barney Fife: This is a time for pussycats with a killer on the loose?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, Fluffy’s got kittens and you know how you’d feel seeing your mother on the roof.
Deputy Barney Fife: [Follows Andy to the door as he’s leaving, and takes his gun from the holster and tries to get Andy to take it] Andy… take this, put it under your shirt.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: I won’t need it, Barn. Fluffy and I’ve been friends for years.


Sheriff Andy Taylor: [Billy Ray is delivering mail to the courthouse] I’ll take it Billy Ray.
Billy Ray, the Postman: Oh no you don’t. The mail must go through.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: But I’m standing right here. Hand it to me Billy Ray.
Billy Ray, the Postman: You’re not an authorized receptacle.
Deputy Barney Fife: But he’s an official of this county.
Billy Ray, the Postman: Means nothin’ to me. I’m a Fed.
Deputy Barney Fife: Wait until you park that mail truck of yours in an illegal spot some time.
Billy Ray, the Postman: As long as I’m carryin’ registered mail, I got the right of way over ambulance, police cars, fire engines, and heavier-than-air craft.
Deputy Barney Fife: Put a mail sack on some people, goes right to their Heads!

“The Andy Griffith Show: The County Nurse (#2.24)” (1962)
Barney Fife: That little kissy on the jaw, that, uh, felt kinda good, didn’t it?
Andy Taylor: It felt better than a mule’s nose, yes.


Barney Fife: You know, it’s a good thing she ain’t campaignin’ for folks to get their eyes examined.
Andy Taylor: How’s that?
Barney Fife: One kiss on your jaw and we’d all be wearin’ glasses.
Andy Taylor: Oh, now, come on, Barney. I mean…
Barney Fife: If she ever kissed you on the mouth, we’d all have to have our appendix taken out.
Andy Taylor: You’re a nut.
Barney Fife: Well, you’re a dear.

“The Andy Griffith Show: A Date for Gomer (#4.9)” (1963)
Barney Fife: A man spends money gettin’ his suit spotted and pressed takes two hours polishing his hat, and for what? Heartaches!


Barney Fife: We gotta get some guy that’s not been around too much, you know, really naive, some guy with not too much upstairs, in other words, a real dope.
Gomer Pyle: [Gomer enters] Hey Andy! Hey Barney!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Stranger in Town (#1.12)” (1960)
Barney Fife: Next time I want a haircut, I’m gonna stick my head in a pencil sharpener.
Floyd the Barber: Yes, sir, and it’ll fit, too.


Barney Fife: And I still think he’s some kind of a spy.
Andy Taylor: Oh, you do?
Barney Fife: Yes, I do.
Andy Taylor: And you figure somebody here in town is his contact, and maybe between ’em they’re tryin’ to figure out some of our secrets, like h-how we make possum pie, or how me make turnip jam… Laaa-aaaw! You DON’T reckin’ he’s here snoopin’ around tryin’ to find out how we make fried chicken and johnnycake, do you?

“The Andy Griffith Show: Barney’s Sidecar (#4.16)” (1964)
Barney Fife: [Walks in wearing helmet, leather gloves, and a leather jacket] Mounted patrol checking in.
Andy Taylor: How are you Baron Von Richthofen?


Barney Fife: If you ride with your mouth open in the wind and put your tongue against the roof of your mouth, its impossible to pronounce a word that begins with the letter ‘s’.
Andy Taylor: You didn’t let anyone see you riding with your mouth open?

“The Andy Griffith Show: Citizen’s Arrest (#4.11)” (1963)
Deputy Barney Fife: Gomer, I have to uphold the law, no matter what! It’s only what any responsible person should do. Why, even if I weren’t a policeman, I would still arrest you for making a illegal U-turn… any person can do that, you know… it’s called a citizen’s arrest.
Gomer Pyle: [seeing Barney make a U-turn with his squad car as he drives away] Hey! HEEEYYYY – – BARNEY! You made an illegal u-turn YOURSELF! You’re breakin’ the law, and so I, as a responsible person, need to arrest you! Citizen’s arrest! Citizen’s arrest!


Deputy Barney Fife: Boy that Mrs. Devero sure is ugly, ain’t she?
Andy Taylor: Barney, she can’t help it.
Deputy Barney Fife: She’s just ugly as homemade soap.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The New Housekeeper (#1.1)” (1960)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Anybody here know why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. I now pronounce you man…
Opie Taylor: I know why they shouldn’t be married.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Opie, what’re you tryin’ to do?
Opie Taylor: I’m speakin’ now so’s I won’t have to forever hold my peace.
Deputy Barney Fife: You’re not supposed to speak.
Opie Taylor: Then why did he ask?


Deputy Barney Fife: Aw, shucks, Andy. I want to do good on this job. Even if it’s just deliverin’ messages, I wanna do it right.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I know you do, and-and-and I admire your attitude.
Deputy Barney Fife: You see, Andy, I want the folks in this town to realize that you picked me to be your deputy because you, well, you looked over all the candidates for the job, and-and you judged their qualifications and their character and their ability, and you come to the fair, the just, and the honest conclusion that I was the best-suited for the job. An… and I wanna thank you, Cousin Andy.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: You’re welcome, Cousin Barney.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Farmer Takes a Wife (#2.13)” (1962)
Barney Fife: I’m disappointed in you, Andy. I am REALLY disappoint… I have… I can’t remember when I have been THIS disappointed in you.
Andy Taylor: What are you disappointed in me for?
Barney Fife: Well, why didn’t you stop me?
Andy Taylor: I couldn’t stop ya.
Barney Fife: That’s right, that’s right. Pass the buck.
Andy Taylor: Barney, I’m not passin’ the buck. I’m just remindin’ you of the facts, and the facts are: Jeff come to town, said he’s lookin’ for a bride, you said you’d help him, and the way you helped you took him over to Thelma Lou’s, and that’s how it all happened.
Barney Fife: Oh, why hash over ancient history?


Barney Fife: Nip it! Nip it in the bud!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Deputy Otis (#2.31)” (1962)
[Otis receives a letter at the courthouse]
Otis Campbell: Would you mind readin’ it fer me, Andy? I ain’t got my glasses.
Barney Fife: Can’t you read without ’em?
Otis Campbell: Only labels.


Barney Fife: Well, what kind of a job can you give to Otis? Well, he’s irresponsible, he’s careless, he’s unreliable.
Andy Taylor: I’ll make him a deputy.
“The Simpsons: The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (#9.1)” (1997)
Lenny: Hey, let’s go to the girls college!
Carl: No! Playboy Mansion, Playboy Mansion!
Homer Simpson: It’s my car, and I say we’re going to the Lost City of Gold!
Barney Gumble: [angry] Oh, that’s just drunk talk!
Barney Gumble: Sweet, beautiful drunk talk…


Homer: [after Barney has been missing for two months] Barney, where have you been?
Barney: All I can remember about the last two months, is giving a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Bookie Barber (#2.28)” (1962)
Barney Fife: [concerned about Floyd’s cut of his sideburns] Andy.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Mm.
Barney Fife: Look at this.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Look at what?
Barney Fife: Can’t ya see? They ain’t even.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I’ll be dogged, you’re right.
Barney Fife: Doggone, I knew it. I told him.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: One ear IS longer than the other.
Barney Fife: You’re almost as funny as Floyd, you know that? Why don’t you two team up and call yourselves Frick and Frack!


Sheriff Andy Taylor: Them fellas goin’ into the barbershop there.
Barney Fife: What about ’em?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Ain’t they the same three fellas we saw goin’ in there yesterday about this time?
Barney Fife: Yeah, now that you mention it, they do look familiar.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Yeah. Don’t that seem a little strange to you, customer goin’ back to the barbershop the very next day?
Barney Fife: No.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: No?
Barney Fife: No. Didn’t you ever hear of a person with a compelsion complex.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: A what?
Barney Fife: Compelsion complex, you know, like when folks gotta be a washin’ their hands all day long – that’s a hand-washin’ compelsion. Well, what you’re lookin’ at there, that’s a case of hair-cuttin’ compelsion.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: All three of ’em?
Barney Fife: Well, all three of ’em’s got the compelsion. Listen, you find compelsion nuts all over.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Sheriff Barney (#2.12)” (1961)
Barney Fife: Why don’t we go up to the hospital some night and take the bolts off of the wheelchairs? That’d be funny, too.


Barney Fife: This is your subconscious. Come in, please.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Runaway Kid (#1.6)” (1960)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Dadburnit, I’m a sheriff and I got my duty to do.
Deputy Barney Fife: Yeah. Oh… oh… where’re you goin’?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Home to get permission from my son to do it.


Deputy Barney Fife: That’s twice in one day you’ve run afoul of the law! You keep this up and I’m gonna have to draw YOUR face NEXT!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Aunt Bee’s Medicine Man (#3.24)” (1963)
Barney Fife: Where there’s smoke, there’s firewater!


Barney Fife: Andy, I hate to say this, but…
Andy Taylor: You don’t have to.
Barney Fife: If it was anybody else, I’d say she was tiddly!
Andy Taylor: If it was anybody else, you’d be right. But she won’t even let a fruitcake in the house, on account of a brother she had.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Opie’s Hobo Friend (#2.6)” (1961)
Barney Fife: Oh, Andy, everything’s breakin’ loose. First, Mrs. Tillman has an apple pie stolen from her window. Now, Jess Crawford just reported a chicken thief. It’s a regular reign of terror!


Barney Fife: Oh, my gosh, there goes a whole cow!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Jailbreak (#2.18)” (1962)
Barney Fife: [answering the phone] Sheriff’s office, Fife here.
Art Crowley, the Grocer: This is Art over at the grocery store. Listen, I finally got the dog that’s been barkin’ every morning and wakin’ up the whole neighborhood.
Barney Fife: [bending his responses to impress a visiting state policeman within earshot] Oh, you have, huh? Are you sure he’s the one we’re after?
Art Crowley, the Grocer: Sure I’m sure. It’s Sam, the big brute that belongs to Floyd.
Barney Fife: The big brute, huh? Well, we don’t need the sheriff for this. I’ll take him single-handed.
Art Crowley, the Grocer: And tell Floyd to keep him tied up!
Barney Fife: Right. It’ll be the rope for him. I’ll be right over.

“The Andy Griffith Show: A Black Day for Mayberry (#4.7)” (1963)
Opie Taylor: Who are they? Friends of Pa’s?
Deputy Barney Fife: No, they’re just waiting.
Opie Taylor: What for?
Deputy Barney Fife: Don’t ask me what for, I just run the waiting room, that’s all.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Barney’s First Car (#3.27)” (1963)
Barney Fife: The last big buy I made was my mom’s and dad’s anniversary present.
Andy Taylor: What’d ya get ’em?
Barney Fife: Septic tank.
Andy Taylor: For their anniversary?
Barney Fife: Yeah. Oh, they’re really hard to buy for. Besides, it was something they could use. They were really thrilled. Two tons of concrete, all steel reinforced.
Andy Taylor: You’re a fine son, Barn.
Barney Fife: I try.
“The Simpsons: Homer’s Phobia (#8.15)” (1997)
[hiding underneath a trough]
Barney: Is it okay to come out now, Mr. Gay Man, sir?


“The Andy Griffith Show: The Loaded Goat (#3.18)” (1963)
Barney Fife: Andy, are you havin’ a spell?
“The Simpsons: Simpson Tide (#9.19)” (1998)
Homer Simpson: I’ve joined the Naval Reserve.
Barney: I’m not going to let anything happen to my best friend. I’m joining too.
Moe: I’m not going to let anything happen to my two best customers, I’m joining, too.
Apu: Even though my religion strictly forbids military service, what the hey.
“The Simpsons: Lisa’s Sax (#9.3)” (1997)
Homer Simpson: Oh, my father gave me beer as a child.’Til wrapped my little red wagon around a tree.
Barney Gumble: [Flashback to Homer and Barney as boys] Let’s never drink again.
Homer Simpson: [Flashback to the present, Homer has a Duff beer in his hand] And we never did.
[Drinks it]


“The Andy Griffith Show: The Education of Ernest T. Bass (#5.4)” (1964)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: I just don’t know what to do. I can’t put him in jail, he keeps breakin’ out. I can’t make him understand he’s got to leave Helen alone. I don’t know what to do with him.
Deputy Barney Fife: Well, you won’t listen to me – you won’t listen to your old dad. All I have to do is give him a couple of karate chops, flip him into a corner, and he’d get up and head back for the mountains, never to be seen again.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: He’d kill you.
[Barney looking annoyed]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, the easiest way is to satisfy him – he wants an education, we’ll give him an education. We’ll fix him up with a diploma and everything.
Deputy Barney Fife: I still say, five minutes behind the barn!
Helen Crump: He’d kill you.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy on Trial (#2.29)” (1962)
Deputy Barney Fife: [Testifying at hearing] … Why Andy’s the best friend I got in the whole world. And as far as I’m concerned, he’s the best Sheriff too. All them things I said; for example, his using the squad car for personal reasons. Sure, he was delivering groceries to Emma Watson because she was too sick to get down to the market. And that’s just one example of the thing’s Andy’s done for the folks in this town. I could give you a lot more. You gotta understand, this is a small town. The Sheriff is more than just a Sheriff. He’s a friend. And the people in this town, they ain’t got a better friend than Andy Taylor. As far as Andy knowing his job… I’d just like for you to take a look in the record book Mr. Jackson. You know there ain’t been a major crime committed in this town thanks to Sheriff Taylor? The only ruckus you’d ever have in Mayberry is if you tried to remove him from office. Then you’d have a riot. You asked me if Andy runs a taught ship Mr. Milton. Well, no he don’t. But that’s because of something that he’s been trying to teach me every since I started working for him. And that is, when you’re a law man and you’re dealing with people, you do a whole lot better if you go not so much by the book, but by the heart. I guess maybe that’s kinda hard for some of you to understand… I don’t know… its all I got to say.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Bank Job (#3.13)” (1962)
Sheriff Andy Taylor: [Andy and Barney walking out of the bank with Barney disgusted at how apathetic everyone, including Asa, the security guard, is toward the bank’s security; and Andy trying to calm Barney down] Now simmer down, Barn.
Deputy Barney Fife: Four years Asa’s been walkin’ around without any screws in his gun. Where’s the hardware store? Right down the street a whip and a whisker away. Boy, oh boy.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Alright, I’ll go get screws and put ’em in Asa’s gun. What kind of gun has Asa got?
Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, one of those old Teddy Roosevelt Horse Pistols

“The Andy Griffith Show: The New Doctor (#1.24)” (1961)
Barney Fife: Listen to that – two young people lost in a world of pills.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Dogs, Dogs, Dogs (#3.30)” (1963)
[Reassuring Opie after releasing a group of dogs to the countryside as a thunderstorm approaches]
Barney Fife: A dog can’t get struck by lightning. You know why? Because he’s, he’s too close to the ground. See, lightning strikes tall things. Now, now if they was giraffes out there in that field, well then we’d be in trouble.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Ellie for Council (#1.10)” (1960)
Sam Lindsey: There he is. There’s the weak-kneed, chicken-livered, yella-streak turncoat.
Barney Fife: Now look, Sam. You got something to say, say it.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Man in the Middle (#5.7)” (1964)
Barney Fife: I’m sick of the whole thing, too. You try to bring two people together and what do you get? Heartaches!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Aunt Bee the Crusader (#4.15)” (1964)
Andy Taylor: I know what he’s doing, too. He ain’t fooling me. I know what he’s doing. He’s giving presents to Aunt Bee and Opie and everybody, hoping they’ll work on me.
Barney Fife: He’s doing that?
Andy Taylor: Yeah.
Andy Taylor: He give Opie a Rooster, Aunt Bee a mustache cup.
Barney Fife: We could get him on a 204.
Andy Taylor: What’s that?
Barney Fife: Bribery,collusion, tampering with, and/or intimidation of material witnesses.
Andy Taylor: That’s a 204?
Barney Fife: Kind of a catchall.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Goodbye Sheriff Taylor (#5.10)” (1964)
Deputy Barney Fife: On this job there’s only two kinds of cops: the quick and the dead!

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy Forecloses (#1.28)” (1961)
Andy Taylor: You know, I just can’t believe that anybody could be as mean as Ben Weaver’s makin’ out.
Barney Fife: He sure got me convinced.
Andy Taylor: [an idea] Well, maybe he just don’t see how mean he really is.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army (#4.3)” (1963)
[Andy, Barney and the recruiting sergeant watch as Ernest T. Bass incur his wrath on Mayberry for not getting into the Army]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Look at him go. He’s a strange one.
Recruiting Sergeant: He’s a wild one.
Deputy Barney Fife: He’s a nut.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Clubmen (#2.10)” (1961)
Barney Fife: Boy, you’re a clown, you are. Why don’t cha put a red light onto your nose and go in the circus?

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Big House (#3.32)” (1963)
[shouting to two prisoners]
Barney Fife: Now here at “The Rock” we have two basic rules. Memorize them so that you can say them in your sleep. The first rule is… Obey all rules. Secondly, do not write on the walls, as it takes a lot of work to erase writing off of walls.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy and the Gentleman Crook (#1.21)” (1961)
[Barney accidentally fires off his gun]
Andy Taylor: Barney, you promised me when I gave you that bullet you’d keep it in your shirt pocket. Now, why’d you take it out?
Barney Fife: Oh, I’m sorry, Andy. I… Doggone it, that bullet was turnin’ green in my pocket. I thought it’d keep better in the gun.
Andy Taylor: Barney…
Barney Fife: And besides, I’ve already lost two bullets in the laundry.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Aunt Bee’s Invisible Beau (#5.27)” (1965)
Deputy Barney Fife: He buttered her up and she egged him on!

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Rumor (#4.29)” (1964)
Deputy Barney Fife: [Barney trying to keep Andy from going home to dress for dinner] Well, it’s a whim. Are you going to question a whim? You question a whim and you take the fun right out of it!
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, would it kill the whim if I just take a shower and put on some clean socks and underwear?
Deputy Barney Fife: Sure it will! It’s not a whim anymore if you put on clean underwear!
Sheriff Andy Taylor: I don’t understand it. But I guess a fellow shouldn’t question when he’s getting a free supper.
Deputy Barney Fife: That’s right! Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Can you let me have $5?

“The Andy Griffith Show: One-Punch Opie (#3.14)” (1962)
Barney Fife: Yeah, well, today’s eight-year-olds are tomorrow’s teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters goin’ wrong, you got to nip it in the bud.
Andy Taylor: I’m gonna have a talk with ’em. Now, what more do you want me to do?
Barney Fife: Well, just don’t mollycoddle them.
Andy Taylor: I won’t.
Barney Fife: Nip it. You go read any book you want on the subject of child discipline and you’ll find that every one of them is in favor of bud-nippin’.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Lawman Barney (#3.7)” (1962)
Deputy Barney Fife: [after the two farmers crowd him when he asks them to move their vegetable stand outside of the town limits] You’re both a lot bigger than I am, but this badge represents a lot of people. They’re a lot bigger than either one of you. Now, are you gonna get movin’?

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Haunted House (#4.2)” (1963)
Barney Fife: All I’m saying is that there are some things beyond the ken of mortal man that shouldn’t be tampered with. We don’t know everything, Andy. There’s plenty goin’ on right now in the Twilight Zone that we don’t know anything about and I think we oughta stay clear.

“The Andy Griffith Show: The Great Filling Station Robbery (#3.22)” (1963)
Deputy Barney Fife: Gentlemen, I give you science in action, proof positive! The camera does not lie – THERE is your criminal!
[Slams picture from security camera on desk, only to discover it’s a picture he accidentally shot of himself setting up the device]
Deputy Barney Fife: [Aghast] It’s ME!
Gomer Pyle: Hey, you take a purty good picture, Barn! Me, I never do.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Back to Nature (#4.31)” (1964)
Barney Fife: You see a wild bird just flies in there to get them berries and then it knocks against that stick there and then this, this snare, you see, just falls down on it and you got it.
Gomer Pyle: Well, I guess it’s gonna be tough eatin’, though. A bird strong enough to move them rocks and knock that stick over’s bound to be on the muscular side.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Alcohol and Old Lace (#1.17)” (1961)
Barney Fife: [Barney and Andy have found Ben’s still] Lets go in shootin.
Andy Taylor: Now easy Barney. That’s ol’ Ben, he’s a friend of ours. There ain’t no call to go shootin at ol’ Ben. We’ll just move in and take him easy like. Come on.
[yells to Ben]
Andy Taylor: Howdy Ben. I say, Ben you got company.
[Ben shoots at them]
Barney Fife: Don’t go shootin at ol’ Ben, huh. Well ain’t that better than him shootin at ol’ us?

“The Andy Griffith Show: Barney Mends a Broken Heart (#3.6)” (1962)
Barney Fife: You’ll never be lonely as long as I’m around.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Irresistible Andy (#1.5)” (1960)
Ellie Walker: How dare you think I’d wanna marry you? Who do you think you are? Just because I accepted what I thought was a friendly, neighborly invitation… And for your information, Mr. Sheriff, I’ve given dozens of children free ice cream cones – even if they weren’t the children of such gorgeous, charming, desirable catches as yourself! Well, let me tell you something, you big, brave hero – I wouldn’t go to the dance with you if you were the last man on Earth, let alone marry you! Nor do I need your generous help in getting an escort. And just to prove it to you, I’m going to go with the first single, unattached man who comes through that door!
Deputy Barney Fife: [entering] Hi.
Ellie Walker: YOU!
Deputy Barney Fife: Me?
Ellie Walker: Yes. Are you taking anyone to the church dance Saturday?
Deputy Barney Fife: No.
Ellie Walker: In that case, I accept your invitation! Thank You!
[Ellie storms off]
Deputy Barney Fife: [to Andy] I just come in here for some foot powder.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Three’s a Crowd (#2.27)” (1962)
Andy Taylor: They’s somp’in’ I wanna talk to you about.
Barney Fife: Yeah?
Andy Taylor: You know, for about a week now, we been spendin’ a lot of time together, right?
Barney Fife: Yeah.
Andy Taylor: I mean, it’s been Mary and me and you and Thelma Lou or… Mary and me and you, and, uh, well, I was thinkin’…
Barney Fife: Yeah?
Andy Taylor: Don’t you think we ought to spend some time alone? D’you, uh… Do you understand?
Barney Fife: Well, sure, I understand, Andy. Of course.
Barney Fife: [picks up telephone] Sarah, uh, get me 2-4-7.
Barney Fife: [to Andy] You should have mentioned this sooner.
Barney Fife: [on phone] Uh, Thelma Lou? Barn. H’yeah. Uh, listen, we can’t make it over to Mary’s tonight. Uh, Andy and I wanna spend some time alone.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Andy and the Woman Speeder (#2.3)” (1961)
Barney Fife: You know, Andy, there’s one thing you got to say about this case. It was a gas.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Barney Gets His Man (#1.30)” (1961)
Andy Taylor: Well, what’s the matter, Barney?
Barney Fife: I swallowed my gum.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Man in a Hurry (#3.16)” (1963)
Barney Fife: You know what I think I’m gonna do?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: What?
Barney Fife: I’m gonna go home, have me a little nap, then go over to Thelma Lou’s and watch a little TV… Yeah, I believe that’s what I’ll do. Go home, have a nap, then over to Thelma Lou’s for TV… Yep, that’s the plan, go home, little nap…
Malcolm Tucker: For the love of Mike, do it! Do it! JUST DO IT!
Barney Fife: What’s the hurry?

“The Andy Griffith Show: Prisoner of Love (#4.18)” (1964)
The Prisoner: I don’t know much about these things. What should I call you? Sergeant? Lieutenant?
Deputy Barney Fife: No. No, nothing like that. No, y-you can just uh,
[clears throat]
Deputy Barney Fife: call me by my name
The Prisoner: How nice. And What is your name?
Deputy Barney Fife: It’s… uh… it’s uh… it’s Fife!… Bernard P. Fife l… Well, Bernard Fife… Deputy Fife… B-Barney Fife! That’s it. Barney Fife’s my name.

“The Andy Griffith Show: Rafe Hollister Sings (#3.20)” (1963)
Andy Taylor: [seeing how many musical terms Barney actually knows] What would you do if they asked you to sing a capella?
Barney Fife: Well, I’d DO it!
[to the tune of “La Cucaracha”]
Barney Fife: A capella, a capella…

“The Andy Griffith Show The Lucky Letter (#5 19)” (1965) Deputy Barney Fife You work with a person long enough you get as goofy as he is! Deputy Barney Fife I am not superstitious and who says I believe in chain letters; I just don’t mess around with them that’s all
Barney Fife (Character) – Quotes – IMDb
www imdb com character ch0215486 quotes

Barney Fife (Character) – Quotes – IMDb
www imdb com character ch0215486 quotes
“The Andy Griffith Show The Lucky Letter (#5 19)” (1965) Deputy Barney Fife You work with a person long enough you get as goofy as he is! Deputy Barney Fife I am not superstitious and who says I believe in chain letters; I just don’t mess around with them that’s all

The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series 1960–1968) – Quotes – IMDb
www imdb com title tt0053479 quotes
Barney Fife Andy, I’ve this one dead to rights! Otis was drunk I even gave him a test I drew a line on the sidewalk and told him to walk it You know what he
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Actors Andy Griffith (Sheriff Andy Taylor), right Don Knotts (Deputy Barney Fife), in a scene from the “The Andy Griffith Show” on Jan
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Knotts played his character seamlessly and was rewarded with five Emmy Awards for his portrayal of Deputy Barney Fife Knotts left the show after five seasons
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Don Knotts created Deputy Barney Fife as a hyper-kinetic but comically inept counterpart to Barney fife-high-school324b Barney’s Famous Quotes
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Bernard “Barney” P Milton Oliver Fife is a fictional character in the American television program The Andy Griffith Show, portrayed by comic actor Don Knotts
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“Gomer get down there with them spiders!” – Barney “There ain’t no gold And don’t be hanging around when that truck comes through ” – Barney “Fly a quail
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I got mine “Now here at the Rock we have two rules Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep Rule number one obey all rules
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Jefferson Davis Quotes. President of the Confederate States from 1861 to 1865.

Jefferson Davis Quotes – Jefferson Davis (born Jefferson Finis Davis; June 3, 1808 – December 6, 1889) was an American politician who served as the President of the Confederate States from 1861 to 1865. He was a member of the Democratic Party who represented Mississippi in the United States Senate and the United States House of Representatives prior to becoming president of the Confederacy. He was the 23rd United States Secretary of War, serving under U.S. President Franklin Pierce from 1853 to 1857.

Davis was born in Fairview, Kentucky, to a moderately prosperous farmer, and grew up on his older brother Joseph’s large cotton plantations in Mississippi and Louisiana. Joseph Davis also secured his appointment to the United States Military Academy. After graduating, Jefferson Davis served six years as a lieutenant in the United States Army. He fought in the Mexican–American War (1846–1848), as the colonel of a volunteer regiment. Before American Civil War, he operated a large cotton plantation in Mississippi but never owned more than 74 slaves. Although he argued against secession in 1858, he believed states had an unquestionable right to leave the Union.

Davis’s first wife, Sarah Knox Taylor, died of malaria after three months of marriage, and he also struggled with recurring bouts of the disease. He was unhealthy for much of his life. At the age of 36, Davis married again, to 18-year-old Varina Howell, a native of Natchez who had been educated in Philadelphia and had some family ties in the North. They had six children. Only two survived him, and only one married and had children.

Many historians attribute the Confederacy’s weaknesses to the poor leadership of President Davis. His preoccupation with detail, reluctance to delegate responsibility, lack of popular appeal, feuds with powerful state governors and generals, favoritism toward old friends, inability to get along with people who disagreed with him, neglect of civil matters in favor of military ones, and resistance to public opinion all worked against him. Historians agree he was a much less effective war leader than his Union counterpart Abraham Lincoln. After Davis was captured in 1865, he was accused of treason and imprisoned at Fort Monroe. He was never tried and was released after two years. While not disgraced, Davis had been displaced in ex-Confederate affection after the war by his leading general, Robert E. Lee. Davis wrote a memoir entitled The Rise and Fall of the Confederate Government, which he completed in 1881. By the late 1880s, he began to encourage reconciliation, telling Southerners to be loyal to the Union. Ex-Confederates came to appreciate his role in the war, seeing him as a Southern patriot, and he became a hero of the Lost Cause in the post-Reconstruction South.

Jefferson Davis Quotes

“All we ask is to be let alone.”
― Jefferson Davis

“The principle for which we contend is bound to reassert itself, though it may be at another time and in another form.”
― Jefferson Davis

“I worked night and day for twelve years to prevent the war, but I could not. The North was mad and blind, would not let us govern ourselves, and so the war came.”

“If the Confederacy falls, there should be written on its tombstone: Died of a theory.”
― Jefferson Davis, The Rise and Fall of the Confederate Government, Volume 1

“Garfield’s assassination attempt made “the whole nation care”.”
― Jefferson Davis

“Not mine, oh, Lord, but thine.”
― Jefferson Davis

“The contest is not over, the strife is not ended. It has only entered upon a new and enlarged arena.”

“The Slave must be made fit for his freedom by education and discipline, and thus made unfit for slavery. And as soon as he becomes unfit for slavery, the master will no longer desire to hold him as a slave.”

“Let men not ask what the law requires, but give whatever freedom demands.”

The people of the States now confederated…..believed that to remain longer in the Union would subject them to continuance of a disparaging discrimination, submission to which would be inconsistent with their welfare, and intolerable to a proud people. They therefore determined to sever its bounds and established a new Confederacy for themselves.
– Jefferson Davis

All we ask is to be let alone.
– Jefferson Davis

Truth crushed to the earth is truth still and like a seed will rise again.
– Jefferson Davis

Never be haughty to the humble never be humble to the haughty.
– Jefferson Davis

I worked night and day for twelve years to prevent the war, but I could not. The North was mad and blind, would not let us govern ourselves, and so the war came.
– Jefferson Davis

Never be haughty to the humble; never be humble to the haughty.
– Jefferson Davis

[Henry Ford] is too small to be treated as an obstacle round which the course of the democratic party should be bent.
— Jefferson Davis, Jefferson Davis, American

My early declared purpose and continued hope was to feed upon this enemy and teach them the blessings of peace by making them feel in its most tangible form the evils of war.
— Jefferson Davis, Jefferson Davis: The Essential Writings (Modern Library)

Tradition usually rests upon something which men did know; history is often the manufacture of the mere liar.
Scotland & The Scottish People

A government, to afford the needful protection and exercise proper care for the welfare of a people, must have homogeneity in its constituents. It is this necessity which has divided the human race into separate nations, and finally has defeated the grandest efforts which conquerors have made to give unlimited extent to their domain.

Sir, it is true that republics have often been cradled in war, but more often they have met with a grave in that cradle. Peace is the interest, the policy, the nature of a popular Government. War may bring benefits to a few, but privation and loss are the lot of the many. An appeal to arms should be the last resort, and only by national rights or national honor can it be justified.
Debate in the House of Representatives, (6 February 1846).

Unfortunately, the opinion has gone forth that no politician dares to be the advocate of peace when the question of war is mooted. That will be an evil hour — the sand of our republic will be nearly run — when it shall be in the power of any demagogue, or fanatic, to raise a war-clamor, and control the legislation of the country. The evils of war must fall upon the people, and with them the war-feeling should originate. We, their representatives, are but a mirror to reflect the light, and never should become a torch to fire the pile.
Speech in Congress, 1846.

Do they find in the history of St. Domingo, and in the present condition of Jamaica, under the recent experiments which have been made upon the institution of slavery in the liberation of the blacks, before God, in his wisdom, designed it should be done — do they there find anything to stimulate them to future exertion in the cause of abolition? Or should they not find there satisfactory evidence that their past course was founded in error?
Speech, 1850

Among our neighbors of Central and Southern America, we see the Caucasian mingled with the Indian and the African. They have the forms of free government, because they have copied them. To its benefits they have not attained, because that standard of civilization is above their race. Revolution succeeds Revolution, and the country mourns that some petty chief may triumph, and through a sixty days’ government ape the rulers of the earth.
Speech, 1858

What security have you for your own safety if every man of vile temper, of low instincts, of base purpose, can find in his own heart a higher law than that which is the rule of society, the Constitution, and the Bible? These higher-law preachers should be tarred and feathered, and whipped by those they have thus instigated. This, my friends, is what was called in good old revolutionary times, Lynch Law. It is sometimes the very best law, because it deals summary justice upon those who would otherwise escape from all other kinds of punishment.
Speech in New York, 1858.

Why, then, in the absence of all control over the subject of African slavery, are you agitated in relation to it? With Pharisaical pretension it is sometimes said it is a moral obligation to agitate, and I suppose they are going through a sort of vicarious repentance for other men’s sins… Who gave them a right to decide that it is a sin? By what standard do they measure it? Not the Constitution; the Constitution recognizes the property in many forms, and imposes obligations in connection with that recognition. Not the Bible; that justifies it. Not the good of society; for if they go where it exists, they find that society recognizes it as good…
Speech in Boston (11 October 1858).

Whether by the House or by the People, if an Abolitionist be chosen President of the United States, you will have presented to you the question of whether you will permit the government to pass into the hands of your avowed and implacable enemies… such a result would be a species of revolution by which the purposes of the Government would be destroyed and the observance of its mere forms entitled to no respect. In that event, in such manner as should be most expedient, I should deem it your duty to provide for your safely outside the Union of those who have shown the will, and would have acquired the power, to deprive you of your birthright and reduce you to worse than the Colonial dependence of your fathers.
Speech of Jefferson Davis before the Mississippi Legislature (16 November 1858)

We recognize the fact of the inferiority stamped upon that race of men by the Creator, and from the cradle to the grave, our Government, as a civil institution, marks that inferiority.
Reply in the Senate to William H. Seward (29 February 1860), Senate Chamber, U.S. Capitol. As quoted in The Papers of Jefferson Davis, Volume 6, pp. 277–84. Transcribed from the Congressional Globe, 36th Congress, 1st Session, pp. 916–18.
One of the fruitful sources, as I hold it, of the errors which prevail in our country, is the theory that this is a government of one people; that the government of the United States was formed by a mass; and therefore it is taken that all are responsible for the institutions and policies of each. The government of the United States is a compact between the sovereign members who formed it; and if there be one feature common to all the colonies planted upon the shores of America, it was the steady assertion of, and uncompromising desire for, community independence.
Senate speech (7 May 1860)

I will admit no bond that holds me to a party a day longer than I agree to its principles. When men meet together to confer, and ascertain whether or not they do agree, and find that they differ – radically, essentially, irreconcilably differ – what belongs to an honorable position except to part? They cannot consistently act together any longer.
Reply in the Senate to a speech of Senator Douglas, May 1860.

…How idle is this prating about natural rights as though still containing all that had been forfeited.
1860, Senate debate.

It would grant me much relief to learn your sons were engaged matrimonially to other white men if I was previously faced with the spectre of those same sons wedding negro women, slave or free, and siring negro sons that could presume to claim inheritance of your namesakes and property, or worse, equality with your purer grandchildren.
1860, Senate debate on legal status of interracial relationships.

There is a relation belonging to this species of property, unlike that of the apprentice or the hired man, which awakens whatever there is of kindness or of nobility of soul in the heart of him who owns it; this can only be alienated, obscured, or destroyed, by collecting this species of property into such masses that the owner is not personally acquainted with the individuals who compose it.
Senate speech, 1860.

[P]roperty in slaves, recognized as such by the local law of any of the States of the Union, shall stand on the same footing in all constitutional and federal relations as any other species of property so recognized; and, like other property, shall not be subject to be divested or impaired by the local law of any other State, either in escape thereto or of transit or sojourn of the owner therein; and in no case whatever shall such property be subject to be divested or impaired by any legislative act of the United States, or of any of the Territories thereof.
Compromise proposal (24 December 1860)

Are we, in this age of civilization and political progress… to roll back the whole current of human thought, and again return to the mere brute force which prevails between beasts of prey, as the only method of settling questions between men?
Speech (1861)

We feel that our cause is just and holy… [W]e seek no conquest… [A]ll we ask is to be left alone.
Message to Confederate Congress (29 April 1861)

We recognize the negro as God and God’s Book and God’s Laws, in nature, tell us to recognize him. Our inferior, fitted expressly for servitude.
Speech (March 1861), as quoted in Look Away!: A History of the Confederate States of America (2002), by William C. Davis, New York: The Free Press, p. 137

If the Confederacy falls, there should be written on its tombstone: Died of a theory.
The Rise and Fall of the Confederate Government, quoting a remark he had made in 1864.
We are not fighting for slavery. We are fighting for independence – and that, or extermination, we will have.
Reply to James R. Gilmore, 1864

Last speech before the U.S. Senate (21 January 1861), Washington, D.C.
I rise, Mr. President, for the purpose of announcing to the Senate that I have satisfactory evidence that the State of Mississippi, by a solemn ordinance of her people in convention assembled, has declared her separation from the United States. Under these circumstances, of course, my functions are terminated here. It has seemed to me proper, however, that I should appear in the Senate to announce that fact to my associates, and I will say but very little more. The occasion does not invite me to go into argument, and my physical condition would not permit me to do so if it were otherwise; and yet it seems to become me to say something on the part of the state I here represent, on an occasion so solemn as this.
It is known to senators who have served with me here that I have for many years advocated, as an essential attribute of state sovereignty, the right of a state to secede from the Union. Therefore, if I had not believed there was justifiable cause; if I had thought that Mississippi was acting without sufficient provocation, or without an existing necessity, I should still, under my theory of the government, because of my allegiance to the state of which I am a citizen, have been bound by her action. I, however, may be permitted to say that I do think that she has a justifiable cause, and I approve of her act. I conferred with her people before that act was taken, counseled them then that, if the state of things which they apprehended should exist when the convention met, they should take the action which they have now adopted.
I hope none who hear me will confound this expression of mine with advocacy of the right of a state to remain in the Union, and to disregard its constitutional obligations by the nullification of the law. Such is not my theory. Nullification and secession, so often confounded, are indeed antagonistic principles. Nullification is a remedy which it is sought to apply within the Union, and against the agent of states. It is only to be justified when the agent has violated his constitutional obligation, and a state, assuming to judge for itself, denies the right of the agent thus to act, and appeals to the other states of the Union for a decision; but when the states themselves, and when the people of the states, have so acted as to convince us that they will not regard our constitutional rights, then, and then for the first time, arises the doctrine of secession in its practical application.
I find in myself, perhaps, a type of the general feeling of my constituents toward yours. I am sure I feel no hostility to you, senators from the North. I am sure there is not one of you, whatever sharp discussion there may have been between us, to whom I cannot now say, in the presence of my God, I wish you well; and such, I am sure, is the feeling of the people whom I represent toward those whom you represent. I therefore feel that I but express their desire when I say I hope, and they hope, for peaceful relations with you, though we must part. They may be mutually beneficial to us in the future, as they have been in the past, if you so will it. The reverse may bring disaster on every portion of the country; and if you will have it thus, we will invoke the God of our fathers, who delivered them from the power of the lion, to protect us from the ravages of the bear; and thus, putting our trust in God, and in our own firm hearts and strong arms, we will vindicate the right as best we may.

The past is dead; let it bury its dead. Let me beseech you to lay aside all rancor, all bitter sectional feeling. Make your place in the ranks of those who will bring about a consummation devoutly to be wished – a reunited country.
In the 1880s, as quoted on an inscription at Vicksburg National Military Park.

Jefferson Davis quotes

Mosby, Rhett, Davis, Stephens, and other Confederates had no difficulty conceding what their descendants go to enormous lengths to deny, that the raison d’être of the Confederacy was the defense of slavery. It follows that, as the paramount symbol of the Confederate nation and as the flag of the armies that kept the nation alive, the St. Andrew’s cross is inherently associated with slavery. This conclusion is valid whether or not secession was constitutional. It is valid whether or not most southern soldiers consciously fought to preserve slavery. It is valid even though racism and segregation prevailed among nineteenth-century white northerners.

John M. Coski, The Confederate Battle Flag: America’s Most Embattled Emblem (2006).
The secession and the Confederacy’s existence were predicated on slavery, on preserving and defending it against containment, as virtually all of its founders from Robert Barnwell Rhett to Jefferson Davis unashamedly declared in 1861.

William Davis, Look Away!: A History of the Confederate States of America (2002), New York: The Free Press, p. 130
Jefferson Davis, on the other hand, had made clear from the first days of the war that his paramount goal was the attainment of independence… [H]e fought for such measures as conscription, central direction of the army, and the suspension of habeus corpus.

Paul D. Escott, After Secession: Jefferson Davis and the Failure of Confederate Nationalism (1992), p. 254
Jeff Davis did his best when he fled from Richmond to make out of himself a reconstructed woman. He made such a bad failure, however, that he deems the work simply impossible.

Republic: A Monthly Magazine (1873), p. 384
Julia Hayden, the colored school teacher, one of the latest victims of the White man’s League, was only seventeen years of age. She was the daughter of respectable parents in Maury County, Tennessee, and had been carefully educated at the Central College, Nashville, a favorite place for the instruction of youth of both sexes of her race. She is said to have possessed unusual personal attractions as well as intelligence. Under the reign of slavery as it is defined and upheld by Davis and Toombs, Julia Hayden would probably have been taken from her parents and sent in a slave coffle to New Orleans to be sold on its auction block. But emancipation had prepared for her a different and less dreadful fate. With that strong desire for mental cultivation which marked the colored race since their freedom, in all circumstances where there is an opportunity left them for its exhibition, the young girl had so improved herself as to become capable of teaching others. She went to Western Tennessee and took charge of a school. Three days after her arrival at Hartsville, at night, two white men, armed with their guns, appeared at the house where she was staying, and demanded the school teacher. She fled, alarmed, to the room of the mistress of the house. The White Leaguers pursued. They fired their guns I through the floor of the room and the young girl fell dead within. Her murderers escaped.

“Louisiana and the Rule of Terror”, The Elevator (10 October 1874), Volume 10, Number 26.
Control every single moment of a slaves life, every minute of their day; it would tell them where to go, what to wear, where to sleep, when to work, when to eat, what to eat, when to speak, when to be silent. This is probably the biggest form of government that human beings have ever invented in the whole of history. I vigorously support Abraham Lincoln’s federal takeover of the southern states, and his highly commendable commitment to human rights. Lincoln viewed secession as an attempt to expand slavery. The Confederacy was based on the glorification of inequality and tyranny. The southern leaders clearly spelled out their views. Their motivation was not to be left alone, it was to enshrine slavery. CSA President Jefferson Davis said all black people are ‘not fit to govern themselves’, and they should be treated in a manner similar to ‘lunatics, criminals and children’.
Joshua Felipe, as quoted in “The Libertarian Attack on Abraham Lincoln” (5 June 2010), by Gregory Hilton, The DC World Affairs Blog, WordPress
You say you are fighting for liberty. Yes you are fighting for liberty: liberty to keep four millions of your fellow-beings in ignorance and degradation;–liberty to separate parents and children, husband and wife, brother and sister;–liberty to steal the products of their labor, exacted with many a cruel lash and bitter tear;–liberty to seduce their wives and daughters, and to sell your own children into bondage;–liberty to kill these children with impunity, when the murder cannot be proven by one of pure white blood. This is the kind of liberty–the liberty to do wrong–which Satan, Chief of the fallen Angels, was contending for when he was cast into Hell.

David Hunter, letter to Jefferson Davis (1863)

They will hang Jeff Davis to a sour apple tree!
“John Brown’s Body” (1861)

It is no wonder that Democratic Senator Jefferson Davis became the first and only president of the Confederate States of America. Who but a Democrat could be so devoted to slavery?
Michael Todd Landis, “Dinesh D’Souza Claims in a New Film that the Democratic Party Was Pro-Slavery. Here’s the Sad Truth” (13 March 2016),

History News Network

Talk is abroad about removing statues of ‘Confederates’, meaning prominent Democrats, from the U.S. Capitol and some state capitols. The statue of Democrat Jefferson Davis, the ex-president of the Confederacy who also served as a Democratic Congressman, U.S. Senator, and Secretary of War in a Democratic administration, has been mentioned for possible removal from its place in Kentucky’s state capitol. Interesting. A growing mass call to remove the names of one prominent Democrat after another from the public square. One has to ask? Is it time to rename the Woodrow Wilson Bridge that crosses the Potomac from Virginia to Washington, the latter a majority black city? If so, may I suggest the name of Hiram Rhodes Revels, the first black U.S. Senator, in 1870? Oh, yes. Senator Revels was also a Republican.

Jeff Lord, “Will Democrats Apologize for Slavery and Segregation?” (25 June 2015), Knowing What We Know Now, The American Spectator.
The spirit of Jefferson Davis lives!

Trent Lott, speech before the Sons of Confederate Veterans (1984), as quoted in The Ku Klux Klan in Mississippi, by Michael Newton, p. 195.
The organization of federal units of black soldiers, comprised of both escaped slaves and free men, was taken as an outrage. It struck a raw nerve, never far off in the southern psyche. Fear of a slave insurrection. The prospect of African American men in blue uniforms was taken as an extreme provocation, so much so that it was proposed in the Confederate congress, and endorsed by General Beauregard, the hero of Fort Sumter, that all Federals captured, black or white, should be summarily executed. This proposal was never adopted, but the Confederate congress did eventually pass, in May 1863, a proclamation instructing President Jefferson Davis to exercise ‘full and ample retaliation’ against the north for arming black soldiers. Finally, there was simple revenge. The Union army’s shelling of Fredericksburg several months before had been a particular sore point, that festered for months as the Confederate army went into winter quarters nearby. One officer, determined to fix the destruction there in his mind’s eye, made a special visit to that town one last time before setting out on the road north into Maryland and Pennsylvania.

Andy Hall, “We have received provocation enough…” (1 July 2013), Dead Confederates: A Civil War Era Blog.
The final irony is that the vast majority of blacks have turned against the party of emancipation and individual responsibility and now support the party of slavery, segregation and Jim Crow laws that now imposes dependency and racist quotas. The same Democratic Party that tells them they cannot succeed on their own. The Party that tells them they are not good enough to intellectually compete with whites. And now we have a black candidate spewing the same vile line so that he can become the head overseer. This is the party that tells blacks they need the Democrats as a crutch: the same party that says it is not racist. Perhaps Jefferson Davis did get the last laugh after all. Did he not think that blacks were so inferior to whites that they could not be trusted to look to their own affairs? That without the slave-supporting Democratic Party the black man would be lost and helpless in a world he lacked the intelligence to barely comprehend.

Gerard Jackson, “The Party of Lincoln vs. the Democrats’ hate machine” (9 June 2008), BrookesNews.
The Alabama Democratic convention [instructed] its delegates to walk out of the national convention if the party refused to adopt a platform pledging a federal slave code for the territories. Other lower-South Democratic organizations followed suit. In February, Jefferson Davis presented the substance of southern demands to the Senate in resolutions affirming that neither Congress nor a territorial legislature could ‘impair the constitutional right of any citizen of the United States to take his slave property into the common territories.

James McPherson, Battle Cry of Freedom (1989), p. 214.
It looked queer to me to see boxes labeled ‘His Excellency, Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederate States of America’. The packages so labeled contained Bass ale or Cognac brandy, which cost ‘His Excellency’ less than we Yankees had to pay for it. Think of the President drinking imported liquors while his soldiers were living on pop-corn and water!

David D. Porter, Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War (1885), p. 274.
I think Stone Mountain is amusing, but then again I find most representations of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson outside of Virginia, and, in Jackson’s case, West Virginia, to be amusing. Aside from a short period in 1861-62, when Lee was placed in charge of the coastal defense of South Carolina and Georgia, neither general stepped foot in Georgia during the war. Lee cut off furloughs to Georgia’s soldiers later in the war because he was convinced that once home they’d never come back. He resisted the dispatch of James Longstreet’s two divisions westward to defend northern Georgia, and he had no answer when Sherman operated in the state. It would be better to see Joseph E. Johnston and John Bell Hood on the mountain, although it probably would have been difficult to get those two men to ride together. Maybe Braxton Bragg would have been a better pick, but no one calls him the hero of Chickamauga. Yet Bragg, Johnston, and Hood all attempted to defend Georgia, and they are ignored on Stone Mountain. So is Joe Wheeler, whose cavalry feasted off Georgians in 1864. So is John B. Gordon, wartime hero and postwar Klansman. Given Stone Mountain’s history, Klansman Gordon would have been a good choice. It’s also amusing to see Jefferson Davis represented. Yes, Davis came to Georgia, once to try to settle disputes within the high command of the Army of Tennessee, not a rousing success, and once to rally white Georgians to the cause once more after the fall of Atlanta. But any serious student of the war knows that Davis spent much of his presidency arguing with Georgia governor Joseph Brown about Georgia’s contribution to the Confederate war effort, and that the vice president of the Confederacy, Georgia’s own Alexander Hamilton Stephens, was not a big supporter of his superior. Yet we don’t see Brown or Stephens on Stone Mountain, either.
Brooks D. Simpson, “The Future of Stone Mountain” (22 July 2015), Crossroads, WordPress

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Ruby Bridges Quotes, American activist known for being the first black child to desegregate the all-white William Frantz Elementary School in Louisiana

Ruby Bridges Quotes – Ruby Nell Bridges Hall (born September 8, 1954) is an American activist known for being the first black child to desegregate the all-white William Frantz Elementary School in Louisiana during the New Orleans school desegregation crisis in 1960.

Ruby Bridges was born in Tylertown, Mississippi, to Abon and Lucille Bridges. When she was four years old, the family relocated to New Orleans, Louisiana. In 1960, when she was six years old, her parents responded to a request from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and volunteered her to participate in the integration of the New Orleans school system, even though her father was hesitant.[citation needed]

Bridges Hall is the subject of the Lori McKenna song “Ruby’s Shoes”. Her childhood struggle at William Frantz Elementary School was portrayed in the 1998 made-for-TV movie Ruby Bridges. The young Ruby Bridges was portrayed by actress Chaz Monet, and the movie also featured Lela Rochon as Ruby’s mother, Lucille “Lucy” Bridges; Michael Beach as Ruby’s father, Abon Bridges; Penelope Ann Miller as Ruby’s teacher, Mrs. Henry; and Kevin Pollak as Dr. Robert Coles.

On January 8, 2001, Bridges Hall was awarded the Presidential Citizens Medal by President Bill Clinton.

Like hundreds of thousands of others in the greater New Orleans area, Bridges Hall lost her home (in Eastern New Orleans) to the catastrophic flooding in the failure of the levee system during Hurricane Katrina in 2005.

In October 2006, the Alameda Unified School District in California dedicated a new elementary school to Ruby Bridges, and issued a proclamation in her honor, and in November that year she was honored in the Anti-Defamation League’s Concert Against Hate. In 2007, the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis unveiled a new exhibit documenting her life, along with the lives of Anne Frank and Ryan White.

In 2010, she had a 50th year reunion at Frantz Elementary with Pam Foreman Testroet, who, at age five, was the first white child to break the boycott that ensued from Bridges’ attendance at that school.

On July 15, 2011, Bridges met with President Barack Obama at the White House, and while viewing the Norman Rockwell painting of her on display he told her, “I think it’s fair to say that if it hadn’t been for you guys, I might not be here and we wouldn’t be looking at this together.”

On May 19, 2012, Bridges Hall received an Honorary Degree from Tulane University at the annual graduation ceremony at the Superdome.

In 2014, a statue of Bridges was unveiled in the courtyard of William Frantz Elementary School.

Ruby Bridges Quotes



Donald Trump Racist Quotes

“Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”

In 1993, when Trump wanted to open a casino in Bridgeport, Connecticut, that would compete with one owned by the Mashantucket Pequot Nation, a local Native American tribe, he told the House subcommittee on Native American Affairs that “they don’t look like Indians to me… They don’t look like Indians to Indians.”

“When Donald and Ivana came to the casino, the bosses would order all the black people off the floor,” Kip Brown, a former employee at Trump’s Castle, told the New Yorker for a September article. “It was the eighties, I was a teen-ager, but I remember it: they put us all in the back.”

“And isn’t it funny. I’ve got black accountants at Trump Castle and Trump Plaza. Black guys counting my money! I hate it,” O’Donnell recalled Trump saying. “The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.”

“I think the guy is lazy,” Trump said of a black employee, according to O’Donnell. “And it’s probably not his fault because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.”

“I have nothing against a community that’s made up of people who are Polish or Czechoslovakian or French-Canadian, or who are blacks trying to maintain the ethnic purity of their neighborhoods. This is a natural inclination on the part of the people. I don’t think government ought to deliberately try to break down an ethnically oriented neighborhood by artificially injecting into it someone from another ethnic group just to create some form of integration.”

“I love this quote. It’s from Mahatma Gandhi. He ran a gas station down in St. Louis for a couple of years. Mr. Gandhi, do you still go to the gas station? A lot of wisdom comes out of that gas station”

In a 2010 interview with journalists Mark Halperin and John Heilemann in which he said that Barack Obama would be successful in his Presidential thanks to being “light-skinned” and speaking “with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.”

When taking a question from Robin Gandhi, an assistant professor at the University of Nebraska and a man of Indian descent: “You’re not a member of the Taliban are you?”

“You cannot go to a 7–11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking!”

In reference to Obama during his first campaign for president, “A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee.”

Suggesting that black teenagers were, “super predators who needed to be brought to heel”.

“Blacks and Hispanics are too busy eating watermelons and tacos to learn how to read and write.”

“I give interracial couples a look. Daggers. They get uncomfortable when they see me on the street.”

“We got to do something about these Asians coming in and opening up businesses and dirty shops. They ought to go.”

“Obama’s a nice person, he’s very articulate this is what’s been used against him, but he couldn’t sell watermelons if it, you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic.”

“I’d rather be called a nigger than a slave.”

“I think one man is just as good as another so long as he’s not a nigger or a Chinaman. Uncle Will says that the Lord made a White man from dust, a nigger from mud, then He threw up what was left and it came down a Chinaman. He does hate Chinese and Japs. So do I. It is race prejudice, I guess. But I am strongly of the opinion Negroes ought to be in Africa, Yellow men in Asia and White men in Europe and America.”

Joel Olsteen Quotes That Make Us Chooses To Focus More On The Goodness of God

Joel Osteen Quotes – Joel Scott Osteen (born March 5, 1963) is the Senior Pastor of Lakewood Church, in Houston, Texas. Osteen’s televised sermons are seen by over 7 million viewers weekly and over 20 million monthly in over 100 countries. His sermons also broadcast 24 hours a day on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, Channel 128. Osteen has written seven New York Times Best Sellers. He has been widely nicknamed “The Smiling Preacher”.

In 2004, his first book, Your Best Life Now, was released by Time Warner and debuted at the top of The New York Times Best Seller list. The book remained a The New York Times Best Seller for more than 200 weeks.

Joel Osteen Quotes

1) “You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”

2) “Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily.”

3) “God knows your value; He sees your potential. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head up high, knowing that God is in control and he has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you’d hoped, but the bible says that God’s ways are better and higher than our ways, even when everybody else rejects you, remember, God stands before you with His arms open wide. He always accepts you. He always confirms your value. God sees your two good moves! You are His prized possession. No matter what you go through in life, no matter how many disappointments you suffer, your value in God’s eyes always remains the same. You will always be the apple of His eye. He will never give up on you, so don’t give up on yourself.”

4) “No matter how many times you get knocked down, keep getting back up. God sees your resolve. He sees your determination. And when you do everything you can do, that’s when God will step in and do what you can’t do.”

5) “Quit questioning God and start trusting Him!”

6) “When God puts love and compassion in your heart toward someone, He’s offering you an opportunity to make a difference in that person’s life. You must learn to follow that love. Don’t ignore it. Act on it. Somebody needs what you have.”

7) “It is important for a husband to understand that his words have tremendous power in his wife’s life. He needs to bless her with words. She’s given her life to love and care for him, to partner with him, to create a family together, to nurture his children. If he is always finding fault in something she’s doing, always putting her down, he will reap horrendous problems in his marriage and in his life. Moreover, many women today are depressed and feel emotionally abused because their husbands do not bless them with their words. One of the leading causes of emotional breakdowns among married women is the fact that women do not feel valued. One of the main reasons for that deficiency is because husbands are willfully or unwittingly withholding the words of approval women so desperately desire. If you want to see God do wonders in your marriage, start praising your spouse. Start appreciating and encouraging her. Every single day, a husband should tell his wife, “I love you. I appreciate you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” A wife should do the same for her husband. Your relationship would improve immensely if you’d simply start speaking kind, positive words, blessing your spouse instead of cursing him or her.”

8) “Keep doing the right. God is building character in you, and you are passing that test. Remember, the greater the struggle, the greater the reward.”

9) “When you are tempted to get discouraged, remind yourself that according to God’s word, your future is getting brighter; you are on your way to a new level of glory. You may think you’ve got a long way to go, but you need to look back at how far you’ve already come. You may not be everything you want to be but atleast you can thank God that you’re not what you used to be.”

10) “You cannot expect victory and plan for defeat.”

11) “Quit worrying about how everything is going to turn out. Live one day at a time; better yet, make the most of this moment. It’s good to have a big – picture outlook, to set goals, to establish budgets and make plans, but if you’re always living in the future, you’re never really enjoying the present in the way God wants you to.”

12) “Start calling yourself healed, happy, whole, blessed, and prosperous. Stop talking to God about how big. your mountains are, and start talking to your mountains about how big your God is!”

13) “You will never change what you tolerate.”

14) “You have to learn to follow your heart. You can’t let other people pressure you into being something that you’re not. If you want God’s favor in your life, you must be the person He made you to be, not the person your boss wants you to be, not even the person your parents or your husband wants you to be. You can’t let outside expectations keep you from following your own heart.”

15) “When you face adversity, you need to remind yourself that whatever is trying to defeat you could very well be what God will use to promote you.”

16) “To live your best life now, you must learn to trust God’s timing, you may not think He’s working, but you can be sure that right now, behind the scenes, God is arranging all the pieces to come together to work out His plan for your life.”

17) “You may think there is a lot wrong with you, but there is also a lot right with you.”

18) “Somebody needs what you have to give. It may not be your money; it may be your time. It may be your listening ear. It may be your arms to encourage. It may be your smile to uplift. Who knows? Maybe just like that little baby, putting your arm around somebody and letting him or her know that you care can help begin to heal that person’s heart. Maybe you can give a rescuing hug.”

19) “God wants you to have a good life, a life filled with love, joy, peace, and fulfillment. That doesn’t mean it will always be easy, but it does mean that it will always be good.”

20) “We may get knocked down on the outside, but the key to living in victory is to learn how to get up on the inside.”

21) “One of the main reasons that we lose our enthusiasm in life is because we become ungrateful..we let what was once a miracle become common to us. We get so accustomed to his goodness it becomes a routine..”

22) “It’s not always easy to get over some of those bumps in the road, those disillusionments and disappointments. It’s going to take a strong will. Sometimes, it may take courage. Sometimes nothing but faith in God and say, I refuse to be trapped in the past. I’m not going to let the past destroy my future. I’m pressing on. I’m straining forward, knowing that God has great things in store for me.”

23) “It’s vital that you accept yourself and learn to be happy with who God made you to be. If you want to truly enjoy your life, you must be at peace with yourself.”

24) “If you’ll dare to take your mind off your troubles, get your mind off your own needs and, instead, seek to be a blessing to other people, God will do more for you than you could even ask or think.”

25) “It’s our faith that activates the power of God.”

26) “The bible says no man can take your joy. That means no person can make you live with a negative attitude. No circumstance, no adversity can force you to live in despair. As Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of wheelchair-bound President Franklin D. Roosevelt, often said, ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

27) “Don’t just accept whatever comes your way in life. You were born to win; you were born for greatness; you were created to be a champion in life.”

28) “Certainly, other people can pray for you, they can believe for you, they can quote the scripture to you, but you must exercise faith for yourself. If you are always depending on somebody else to keep you happy, somebody else to encourage you or to get you out of trouble, you will live in perpetual weakness and disappointment. You must make a decision that you are going to be a believer. Take charge of your life and decide, “No matter what comes against me, I believe in God. I’m going to have a positive outlook for my life! Other people’s faith can indeed bolster yours. But your own faith will bring you a miracle much faster than anybody else’s. What you believe has a much greater impact on your life than what anybody else believes.”

29) “Crows can’t hang with eagles.”

30) “Certainly, other people can pray for you, they can believe for you, they can quote the scripture to you, but you must exercise faith for yourself. If you are always depending on somebody else to keep you happy, somebody else to encourage you or to get you out of trouble, you will live in perpetual weakness and disappointment. You must make a decision that you are going to be a believer. Take charge of your life and decide, “No matter what comes against me, I believe in God. I’m going to have a positive outlook for my life! Other people’s faith can indeed bolster yours. But your own faith will bring you a miracle much faster than anybody else’s. What you believe has a much greater impact on your life than what anybody else believes.”

31) “You may live or work around a bunch of weeds, but don’t let that stop you from blooming. Realize that your environment does not prevent you from being happy. Some people spend all their time trying to pull up all the weeds. Meanwhile, they miss much of their lives. Don’t worry about things you can’t change. You can’t change the traffic in the morning. You can’t fix everybody at work. You can’t make all your family members serve God. But you shouldn’t let that keep you from being happy. Bloom anyway and focus on the things that you can change. You can change your own attitude. You can choose to be happy right where you are.”

32) “Maybe you’ve invested a lot of time, effort, money, emotion, and energy in a relationship; you did your best to make it work out. But for some reason, things got off course. And now you feel as though you have been robbed. When we focus on or disappointments, we stop God from ringing fresh new blessing into our lives.”

33) “When you go through difficult times, make sure you pass the test. Don’t be stubborn and hardheaded. Recognize that God is refining you, knocking off some of your rough edges. Stand strong and fight the good fight of faith. God has called each of us to be champions; you are destined to win. If you will work with God and keep a good attitude, then no matter what comes against you, the bible says that all things – not just the good things in life, but all things – work together for your good.”

34) “You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.”

35) “Love overlooks a person’s faults. That’s not always easy, but love believes the best in every person. Anybody can return evil for evil, but God wants His people to help heal wounded hearts.”

36) “You may be at a crossroads in your life. You may have issues to deal with; people you need to forgive. You can go one of the two ways. You can ignore what you now know to be true and keep burying that bitterness in your life, pushing it deeper and allowing it to poison and contaminate you and those around you. Or you can make a much better choice by getting it out in the open and asking God to help you to totally forgive and let it all go.”

37) “People of excellence go the extra mile to do what’s right.”

38) “If you know you have to wait anyway, why not make a decision to enjoy your life while you’re waiting? Why not be happy while God is in the process of changing things? After all, there’s nothing we can really do to make it happen any faster. We might as well relax and enjoy our lives, knowing that at the appointed time God is going to bring his plan to pass.”

39) “When you reach out to hurting people, that’s when God is going to make sure your needs are supplied. When you focus on being a blessing, God makes sure that you are always blessed in abundance.”

40) “Many people are unhappy and are not experiencing life to its fullest because they’ve closed their hearts to compassion, they are motivated by only what they want and what they think they need. They rarely do anything for anybody else unless they have an ulterior goal in mind. They are self-involved and self-centered.”

41) “If you can see the invisible, God will do the impossible.”

42) “Certainly, none of us enjoy going through struggles, but you have to understand that your struggle may be an opportunity for advancement and promotion. The very thing you are fighting against so tenaciously may be the springboard that catapults you to a new level of excellence. Your challenges may become your greatest assets.”

43) “You can take pride in yourself without comparing yourself to anybody else. If you run your race and be the best that you can be, then you can feel good about yourself.”

44) “We are set in our ways, bound by our perspectives and stuck in our thinking.”

45) “One of the main reasons that we lose our enthusiasm in life is because we become ungrateful; we take for granted what God has done for us. We let what once was a miracle become common to us. We get so accustomed to goodness, it becomes routine; it doesn’t really excite us anymore.”

46) “God will not pour fresh, creative ideas and blessing into old attitudes.”

47) “When we don’t forgive, we’re not hurting the other person. We’re not hurting the company that did us wrong. We’re not hurting God. We’re only hurting ourselves.”

48) “Your thoughts about your circumstances have you down. On the other hand, you can be in one of the biggest battles of your life, and still be filled with joy and peace and victory – if you simply learn how to choose the right thought. It’s time to think about what you’re thinking about.”

49) “You may be sitting around waiting for God to change your circumstances. Then you’re going to be happy, then your’re going to have a good attitude, then you’re going to give God praise. But God is waiting on you to get up on the inside. When you do your part, He’ll begin to change things and work supernaturally in your life.”

50) “We’ve got to give people room to have a bad day.”

51) “Certainly there are times in all of our lives when bad things happen, or things don’t turn out as we had hoped. But that’s when we we must a decision that we’re going to be happy inspite of our circumstances.”

52) “The great news is that God knows everything about you, both good and bad, and He still loves you and values you unconditionally. God does not always approve of our behavior. He is not pleased when we go against his will, and when we do, we always suffer the consequences and have to work with Him to correct our thoughts, words, actions, or attitudes. And while you should work to improve in the areas where you fall short, nothing you do will ever cause God to love you less…or more. His love is a constant you can depend on.”

53) “That’s why it is important to enjoy the journey not just the destination. In this world, we will never arrive at a place where everything is perfect and we have no more challenges. As admirable as setting goals and reaching them maybe, you can’t get so focused on accomplishing your goals that you make the mistake of not enjoying where you are right now.”

54) “God never promised that we wouldn’t have challenges. In fact, He said just the opposite. His word says, ‘Be truly glad!…these trials are only to test your faith, to see whether or not it is strong and pure…’ so if your faith remains strong after being tried in the test tube of fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day of His return.”

55) “You may think you’ve got a long way to go, but you need to look back at how far you’ve already come. You may not be everything you want to be but atleast you can thank God that you’re not what you used to be.”

56) “Don’t simply settle for what your parents had. You can go further than that. You can do more, have more, be more.”

57) “The sad truth is, if you push hard enough, and if you’re so stubborn that you must have things your way, God will sometimes allow you to undertake a project without His blessing or at the wrong time. The problem with that, of course, is when you start something in your own strength and in your own timing, you’re going to have to finish it and maintain it in your own strength.”

58) “Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t feel comfortable reading about in the newspaper the next day.” “You need to follow your own heart in light of God’s word and do what you feel is right and good for you.”

59) “God is a good God, and He gives good things to his children. No matter who has denigrated you or how much pain you’ve experienced in life, no matter how many setbacks you have suffered, you cannot allow yourself to accept that as the way life is supposed to be. No, God has better things in store for you. You must reprogram your mind with God’s word; change that negative, defeated self-image, and start seeing yourself as winning, coming out on top. Start seeing that marriage as restored. See your business as flourishing. See your children as enjoying the good things of God. You must see it through your eyes of faith, and then it will begin to happen.”

60) “If you’re not seeing God move in your life right now, one of two possibilities must be considered. Either your requests are not God’s best and will probably not be answered the way you’d like or it must not be the right time. If God were to answer that prayer the way you are hoping, it could interfere with his ideal plan for you.”

61) “The marriage partner is not really the problem. No other person can ultimately make you happy. You must learn how to be happy within yourself.”

62) “Faith activates God – Fear activates the Enemy.”

63) “If you will lie about the little things, before long you’ll lie about bigger things.”

64) “What you keep before your eyes will affect you.”

65) “Be the one to stand out in the crowd.”

66) “Maybe you once were excited about that person God supernaturally brought into your life as a marriage partner, but now all the excitement has worn off. Don’t’ allow that sense of a miracle to slip away. Don’t get so familiar with each other that you take one another for granted.”

67) “You may think you’re getting the short end of the stick, but when it’s all said and done, God will make sure that you don’t lose anything truly valuable. Moreover, He’ll make sure you get your just reward. Your responsibility is to remain calm and peaceable even when those around you are not.”

68) “If it’s not meeting a need, turn it into a seed. Remember, we will reap what we sow. When you do good for other people, that’s when God is going to make sure that His abundant blessings overtake you.”

69) “Your best days are still out in front of you”

70) “What you receive is directly connected to what you believe”

71) “Hold on to that new, enlarge vision of victory that God has given you. Start expecting things to change in your favor. Dare to boldly declare that you are standing strong against the forces of darkness.”

72) “Sustaining faith is what sets you through those dark nights of the soul when you don’t know where to go or what to do, and it seems that you can’t last another day…but because of your faith in God, you do.”

73) “we can not prepare for defeat and expect to live a life in Victory.”

74) “Don’t think small when you pray. God has a way to bring your dreams to pass if you’ll dare to be bold enough to ask.”

75) “When you are committed to doing what’s right, you are sowing seeds for God’s blessings. You will never go wrong by taking the high road and doing more that is required.”

76) “God wants us to live consistently, He wants us to enjoy every single day of our lives.”

77) “Be a victor, not a victim.” “I’m blessed to be a blessing to someone else.”

78) “Appreciation – Learn to give flowers while people are still living”

79) “True success is when you reach back and bring somebody along with you.”

80) “God didn’t create you to be average. You were created to excel You have everything”

81) “We have to realize that our lives could be gone in a moment. There are no guarantees that we will be here at this time next year. Learn to live each day to the fullest. Don’t complain. Don’t focus on what’s wrong. Be grateful for the opportunity to experience each day.”

82) “What you tolerate you can not change”

83) “It may look impossible, but God can do the impossible. Just because you don’t see anything happening doesn’t mean God is not working”

84) “Do all you can to make your dreams come true.”

Chris Mccandless Quotes, Inspire People to Live the Life to the Fullest

Chris Mccandless Quotes – Christopher Johnson “Chris” McCandless was an American hiker and itinerant traveler, who also went by the name “Alexander Supertramp”. After graduating from college in 1990, McCandless traveled the United States, and eventually hitchhiked to Alaska in April 1992. There, he set out along an old mining road known as the Stampede Trail, with minimal supplies, hoping to live simply off the land. Almost four months later, McCandless’ decomposing body, weighing only 30 kilograms (66 lb), was found by hunters in a converted bus used as a backcountry shelter along the Stampede Trail, on the eastern bank of the Sushana River. His cause of death was officially ruled to be starvation, although the exact cause remains the subject of some debate

The converted bus where McCandless lived and died has since become a well-known destination for hikers. Known as “The Magic Bus”, the 1946 International Harvester was abandoned by road workers in 1961 on the Stampede Trail where it remains today. A plaque in McCandless’ memory is affixed to the interior.

McCandless’ life became the subject of a number of articles, books, films and documentaries, which helped elevate his life to the status of modern myth. He became a romantic figure to some inspired by what they see as his free-spirited idealism, but to others a controversial misguided figure. “The Magic Bus” has become a pilgrimage destination for trekkers who camp at the vehicle, some of whom have also gotten into difficulties due to the Teklanika River.

McCandless has been a polarizing figure since his story came to widespread public attention, with the publication of Krakauer’s January 1993 Outside article. While the author and many others have a sympathetic view of the young traveler, others, particularly Alaskans, have expressed negative views about McCandless and those who romanticize his fate.

His popular quotes remain until now, inspire people to live the life to the fullest. Read Chris Mccandless here on Quotes2Read.com.

Chris Mccandless Quotes

1) “Happiness only real when shared.”

2) “So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

3) “Two years he walks the earth. No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, ’cause “the West is the best.” And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the Great White North. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild.

4) “The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

5) “I read somewhere… how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong… but to feel strong.”

6) “Two years he walks the Earth. No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, ’cause “the West is the best.” And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual revolution. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the great white north. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild.”

7) “If you want something in this life, reach out and grab it.”

8) “…there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

9) “I’ve decided I’m going to live this life for some time to come. The freedom and simple beauty is just too good to pass up.”

10) “Don´t hesitate or allow yourself to make excuses. Just get out and do it. Just get out and do it. You will be very, very glad that you did.”

11) “It is important in life not to be strong, but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once. If you want something in life, reach out and grab it.”

12) “Make each day a new horizon.”

13) “The core of mans’ spirit comes from new experiences.”

14) “Happiness is only real, when shared.”

15) “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

16) “You think that I am stubborn, but you are even more stubborn than me. You had a wonderful chance on your drive back to see one of the greatest sights on earth, the Grand Canyon, something every American should see at least once in his life. But for some reason incomprehensible to me you wanted nothing but to bolt for home as quickly as possible, right back to the same situation which you see day after day after day. I fear you will follow this same inclination in the future and thus fail to discover all the wonderful things that God has placed around us to discover. Don’t settle down and sit in one place. Move around, be nomadic, make each day a new horizon.”

17) “(…)how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing the blind, deaf stone alone with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”

18) “The life and simple beauty of it is too good to pass up”

19) “But in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure.”

20) “Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road.”

21) “So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

22) “It is the experiences, the great triumphant joy of living to the fullest extent in which real meaning is found. God it’s great to be alive!”

23) “I don’t want to know what time it is. I don’t want to know what day it is or where I am. None of that matters.”

24) “Deliberate living: Conscious attention to the basics of life, and a constant attention to your immediate environment and its concerns – A job, a task, a book; anything requiring efficient concentration (Circumstance has no value. It is how one relates to a situation that has value. All true meaning resides in the personal relationship to a phenomenon, what it means to you”

25) “No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild.”

26) “Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, ‘cause “the West is the best.” And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure, the climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual revolution. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the great white North. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild.”

27) “The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

28) “Tramping is too easy with all this money. My days were more exciting when I was penniless and had to forage around for my next meal. As for me, I’ve decided that I’m going to live this life for some time to come. The freedom and simple beauty of it is just too good to pass up.”

29) “Circumstance has no value. It is how one relates to a situation that has value. All true meaning resides the personal relationship to a phenomenon, what it means to you.”

30) No phone. No pool. No pets. No cigarettes. Ultimate freedom… No longer to be poisoned by civilization, he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become Lost in the Wild.

31) I have had a happy life and thank the Lord. Goodbye and may God bless all!

32) It is the experiences, the great triumphant joy of living to the fullest extent in which real meaning is found. God it’s great to be alive!

33) I need your help. I am injured, near death, and too weak to hike out of here. I am all alone. This is no joke. In the name of God, please remain to save me. I am out collecting berries close by and shall return this evening. Thank you, Chris McCandless.

34) All true meaning resides in the personal relationship to a phenomenon, what it means to you.